The Dreaded Apparatus

Well, it’s going to be a fun twenty-four hours. Last night I started my tour with a lovely visit to Internal Affairs. I obviously can’t talk about the incident, but I – and a dozen of my coworkers – are the “possible target.” The short version is the complaint doesn’t state which person wronged her, so the department subpoenaed everyone.

After work I had to drive to Philadelphia International Airport, arguably the worst airport on Earth – Aden Adde International Airport in Mogadishu is much cleaner and the workers are friendlier – to pick up the boy. Naturally he didn’t bring his laptop – like I asked him – because he said it was “a hassle” to take on the plane.

No Kyle, a hassle is buying you a laptop and spending my Christmas vacation running all the updates and scans you’ve been ignoring!

Last, but not least, my colonoscopy appointment is scheduled for 1pm. It’s not the procedure, but it’s the meeting before the procedure. The doc will likely give me the prep liquid which tastes like liquid farts, which will keep me on the toilet for ninety minutes. (That is not an exaggeration.) Here’s hoping the procedure is after Christmas, so I can lose all that holiday weight.

So, how’s your day going?

UPDATE: My procedure is scheduled for December 9th.

10 thoughts on “The Dreaded Apparatus

  1. Much better than yours. I am out of here at noon and don’t come back to work until Monday and it is all paid time off courtesy of the university. They give us a ton of paid time off at Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. One of the perks of working at a Catholic university even for us protestants. Hope your week improves.


  2. Ronni – UD closed completely, which is why Kyle is home. Most of the Texas kids just drive a few hours; Kyle has to take a plane. A few teammates would have invited him to their homes if we weren’t able to get him here, though. It’s nice having him back.

    Cathy – The first time I had one was the day of Kyle’s band recital. They left as I went into the bathroom, and when they can back I was still there. It’s like Roto-Rooter for your intestines.


  3. Sounds like an uncomfortable day, may you be blessed with 24-ply toilet paper. 😬

    As for my day? Well, I foolishly ran to the bathroom leaving the new puppy and child unattended. The dog pees on the middle of the living room floor, then kiddo decides to grab his big dog bed and drag it through the puddle, Zamboni-ing the entire house in pee. They are now both in bed so I don’t snap off all my teeth in rage. I’d consider switching for your poop-fountain experience right now.


  4. TX Nick – Now you tell me!

    Jenn – Good grief, that sucks. My kids liked to play da Vinci with their poop… and their fingers… all over their walls. You’ll laugh about it, when the girl is in college.


  5. So does that mean that Dec 8th is open season on your ass? I’ll bet there are a bottomless buttload of jokes that your adoring fans can come up with on your cr@ppy day.


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