True Detective Stories

I’m not sure how entertaining this post will be, since I was really pissed at the time, but if I didn’t write about, I’d likely end up strangling the next person I see.

Yesterday was the start of the godawful day shift. As a result, there was a stack of paperwork on my desk, because the fill-ins do the bare minimum. “Why not, since Wyatt can handle it after his days off?” In total, there were fifteen unassigned jobs waiting; many of them should have been given out immediately.

So, I spent the first two hours entering the assorted jobs and assigning them to the detectives. If nothing else, it makes the day go by a little bit faster. By 9am, I was ready to work on the active jobs funneling in, when the captain’s clerk stopped by.

“Wyatt, the computer system was down yesterday, and there are thirty-three jobs which have to be put into the system and assigned.”

This did not please me. “Um, okay. I was off yesterday, and all of these jobs are from the other squad? Is there any reason why I specifically have to enter these?”

“The captain wants them in a.s.a.p,” she replied before walking away…

Let me explain what happens when the computer system goes down. First of all, the internet crashes far more than you would believe. For a big-city police department, out internet is infamously awful, and worse still, most of our computers are running Windows 7. This is not a joke.

When the system goes down, we can still give control numbers to each job and assign them to detectives, but the data would have to be entered later when the system goes back up. The unwritten rule is we give them numbers, and leave the copies in a pile on the desk, and they are entered by the unlucky SOBs who are working when everything gets back to normal.

What we don’t do is give them a number, send them to the captain’s office, and forget about them as the fill-ins apparently did.

So after entering fifteen old jobs, I was tasked with entering another thirty-three jobs, while also juggling the new jobs which were pouring in. I received the big pile shortly after 9am, and was finished entering them all into the computer at 1:42pm. We stop taking active jobs at 2pm, so I spent my entire tour entering jobs which were not mine and did not belong to my squad.

Worse still, I never had a chance to eat because I was so busy. My only sustenance yesterday was a stick of string cheese.

So thank you, coworkers, for proving once again, you are the leading assholes in the state! (Yes, I swiped that from Blazing Saddles. Sue me.)

7 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. Do you work with nothing but millennials? The, “I’m too stressed to do anything right now, so I’ll dump it into someone else’s lap. They can deal with it while I’m off enjoying my quality time.”

    What is the average age of your co-workers?

    BTW, I’m working with FOUR millennial engineers on this job. You should see some of the things they put into the logic. “It worked fine in the Factory Acceptance Tests.” (But you can violate the laws of physics in simulation, snowflake!)


  2. Proof – My sergeant says the entire building will collapse when I’m gone. “No one will answer the phones, no one will enter jobs, it’ll be mayhem.”

    TX Nick – The average age of my coworkers is probably 28-32. They’re kids who grew up “earning” participation trophies. The supervisors don’t get on them because they’re afraid they’ll file a complaint. This department, like the city, is crumbling quickly.


      1. Personally, the department – and the city can crumble the day after I retire. It won’t be my problem anymore, but to be honest, for the amount of cleanup I do, I should be getting a few more perks.

        Liked by 1 person

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