Meet Sylvia Shumaker of Largo, Florida.
Sylvia had a few questions about divorce proceedings and instead of calling a lawyer, she decided to call 911. Because Florida.
A Largo woman was arrested Friday for misusing 911 by calling and texting the number to make non-criminal complaints about her husband.
Police said Sylvia Shumaker, 69, used 911 multiple times via text and phone to ask for things like a counselor and how to file for divorce. Police responded to Shumaker’s residence early Friday morning around 1:50.
Shumaker was reportedly “highly intoxicated” when being questioned by police.
Now I’m no marital counselor, but without meeting Sylvia’s husband, I can unequivocally suggest he gleefully accept the divorce.
The O.K. Corral 
I agree, Wyatt and then thank his lucky stars he’s out of there.
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He’ll be dodging a bullet, figuratively speaking — and probably literally, too.
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She looks like a very happy drunk. Wonder why he left her? Maybe she wouldn’t share her booze.
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Ronni – Probably the happiest day of his life.
Kitty – Eventually, yes.
Cathy – She had a death grip on the Captain Morgan.
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Shot:
A guy who was diving home from work realized he forgot it was his daughter’s birthday. In a panic, he stopped at a Toys ‘R’ Us and went in.
He told a saleslady that his daughter was a big fan of Barbie, and asked what do they have in that line.
She replied, “Well, we have Barbie at the Beach for $38.00, Barbie the Spacegirl for $45.00, and Barbie gets Divorced for $680.00”
Appalled, the guy asked, “What makes Barbie gets Divorced so expensive?”
The saleslady replied, “Well she comes with Ken’s House, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s motorcycle, Ken’s bank account, Ken’s wallet…”
Chaser:
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it is worth it.
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