True Detective Stories

This job bugs me.

Yesterday I walked into the office and it smelled… funny. I couldn’t determine the smell, but it was something truly awful, like chemicals, a skunk, or our ever-present asbestos. It was not an ideal way to start the day.

I get to my desk and one of the overnight detectives told me the district brought in a domestic abuse victim, and she was covered in bugs.

Now normally, a thinking person would have the victim sit in the hallway, the police car, or the sidewalk outside, but no, these morons decided to bring her inside the building and then inside the squad room. Did I mention the officers didn’t tell anyone about the infestation until after her interview was conducted?

Worse still, the odor was not coming from the victim. The odor was from the bug spray. Apparently the assigned detective keeps Raid in his drawer, and thought it a good idea to spray it inside the room to kill the bugs. So not only were we forced to smell the poison, but also had to cough it out of our lungs for the first hour of the day.

Our best and brightest, folks. Our best and brightest.