God Save The (Jim) Beam

It’s difficult living in England; the climate is unbearable, the food is frightful, and the politicians are dreadful. So it’s no surprise Britons are choosing Russian roulette during the Wuhan Virus lockdown.

LOCKDOWN has turned into a booze-up for Juel Stokes, who’s been sipping fizz for breakfast, downing beer in the afternoon and dozing off with a brandy at night.

The 51-year-old music exec freely admits her drinking has surged during the coronavirus crisis, and she’s not the only one.

This can be a net positive for me, because the more women drink, the better I look.

This week, research by Opinium for Direct Line Life Insurance found that more Brits are drinking more during lockdown.

An estimated 250,000, including Juel, have their first sip before midday, with the average drinker having 12.6 more daytime units a week and 14.6 in the evening. Twelve units equates to about six pints of low-strength beer.

Wow, if this keeps up, British livers will look as ghastly as their teeth.

7 thoughts on “God Save The (Jim) Beam

  1. I’m jealous. Found out I have an issue that is exacerbated by alcohol and haven’t had more than a sip a couple of times since February. Maybe if I move to Britain, my health will improve and I can start boozing it up again. Oh, and don’t get me wrong, it’s nothing serious other than serious enough I’m turning into a teetotaler, which I do NOT like one bit.

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  2. Have noticed that after 3pm people can’t drive. Bored & drunk is not a good mix.
    Like redneck I’m a teetotaler & miss my vodka.

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  3. “This can be a net positive for me, because the more women drink, the better I look.”

    And the less they resist.

    I read in a medical journal somewhere that drinking alcohol is bad for your health. So I gave it up.

    Reading medical journals, not drinking.

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  4. RG – YOLO! Everyone’s gotta die of something. My wish of dying in bed with Vica Kerekes doesn’t seem like it’s going to come true.

    Cathy – I’m pretty buzzed with one beer anymore; likely penance for all the alcohol I drank after college.

    TXNick – Good plan.

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  5. I have a guy who lives next to me is pickled by 5pm every evening. He had a zoom meeting and said his boss commented on “How red my face is these days”. He really needs to go back to work and have some structure in his life.

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