Screw York City

New York City, the municipality which murdered thousands of people by forcing Wuhan patients into nursing homes, is now giving safe sex advice to its citizens.

City health officials suggest New Yorkers kiss boring bedroom behavior goodbye — but not each other — in an updated guide on how to practice extra-safe sex during the coronavirus pandemic. But before getting frisky, everyone should slip on a different type of protection — a face mask.

“During COVID-19 wearing a face covering that covers your nose and mouth is a good way to add a layer of protection during sex,” according to the agency, which this week announced free home delivery of condoms, lube and HIV self-test kits. “Maybe it’s your thing, maybe it’s not.”

And while the agency does not outright recommend casual sex, for those who live a more adventurous lifestyle the advisory says, “Make it a little kinky. Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.”

Yes, by all means, New York citizens, use walls and physical barriers while having sex. In fact, slam your heads into them again and again and again.

8 thoughts on “Screw York City

  1. hysical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.”

    So… bath houses are okay?

    Some days I really wish I was gay.


  2. WTF?? Wearing a face mask will protect you from the virus, but bodily exchange of fluids is okay? The scariest part of all this is that these people making this stuff up actually vote.


  3. Veeshir – They get all the breaks!

    TX Nick – Pfft, you don’t buy love. You rent is for an hour at a time.

    RG – Worse still, the write legislation.


  4. Let’s face it, the government needs to stay out of people’s bedrooms, closets, elevators, plane restrooms, the backseat of cars and walls….period!


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