Gator Nation

Being a college football fan, one of my favorite teams is the Florida Gators. I’ve been following them for years, and was always a fan of Tim Tebow. I am not, however, a fan of actual gators; and this poor chump probably is not, either.

Largo Police Department spokesman Lt. Scott Gore told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that Travis Spitzer was in waist-deep water at Taylor Lake on Friday, June 12, at around 5 a.m. looking for Frisbees when the gator bit him in the face.

β€œHe used his left hand to pry himself free and as a result had lacerations to his face and hand, said Gore. β€œHe was transported for medical care and is expected to recover. FWC is responding for the gator.”

Dude, frisbees cost about seven dollars. Reconstructive surgery on your mush is about seven thousand dollars. To quote Dr. Henry Jones, Sr., “Indiana… let it go.”

3 thoughts on “Gator Nation

  1. Filed under, “Flori-Duh” Man?

    I taught scuba diving classes in Florida back in the 1990’s. One of the students said he had a gig lined up at a golf course to recover balls. A few weeks after his class was certified, I bumped into him at the shop and asked him how the job was going.

    He said that on his first, and it turned out last day, he had recovered a few balls, and was groping around in the muck at the bottom of the pond when he felt something that moved. He said he “ran on the surface of the pond in full scuba gear” to shore. And never went back in the water.

    I was told later that if you are in fresh water in Florida that is over six inches deep, you have gators around you. I believe it. I did all my diving in the ocean or gulf while I was there, except for one time for a cave dive in central Florida. Where the water was too cold for gators.

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