True Detective Stories

So, Saturday night was so much fun. My squad walked into work to find two domestic assault arrests, a body warrant arrest, a missing person report, a theft of an ATV, and other assorted nuisances.

I gave out five assignments in the first fifteen minutes, and since we were all very busy, I didn’t have the patience to deal with dullards.

Then Baby Huey came in.

Baby Huey is a very tall – I’d guess he’s about 6’6″ – chubby, black cop who has a crap-ton of time on this job; nearly a year and a half! Every time he brings in an arrest, it is a complete and utter clusterfrak. The paperwork isn’t done properly, or he’s missing forms, or he asks stupid questions that any casual Law & Order fan would know.

In short, he’s a dumbass; but he’s a dumbass who thinks he’s smart.

This time, Baby Huey came in with a narcotics arrest. Huey was making a car stop, saw the offender was wanted for a probation violation, and found crack cocaine and marijuana in his pockets. Baby Huey waddled to my desk and said, “I have a narcotics arrest.” I replied, “Why on Earth would you be locking up people for narcotics when the DA is arresting cops for doing their jobs?”

Sidebar: Narcotics arrests, even for simple possession, are actually very dangerous because the offenders usually tell their lawyers the officer took their drugs and put some in their pocket, or took his money, or his phone, etc. I’ve seen it happen countless times, and it always ends in an Internal Affairs investigation, and sometimes results in a mistrial.

In my personal opinion, unless you work in the Narcotics Unit, you should never actively seek out drug arrests. Nothing good comes from it.

I tried to impart some wisdom on this dimwitted police officer, but his frown did not turn upside down. For a moment, he looked like crying Jordan, but I continued. “Also officer, where is your paperwork?” He handed me a 48-A, which is the form you fill out when conducting a vehicle investigation.

“If you’re arresting this guy for narcotics, you need a separate 48.”

The officer then reiterated he wrote up a 48-A, and again, I had to correct him. “I get that. We will need the 48-A for the probable cause, but we ALSO need a 48 for the narcotics arrest.”

Sadly, that statement hurt Baby Huey’s precious little feelings.

Huey went downstairs to write the necessary report, and a moment later his sergeant – also black – came upstairs, walked past me, and went to speak with my supervisor. A few minutes later, the sergeant walks past me again, and approaches Baby Huey in the stairwell.

It was difficult to hear everything – despite the sergeant speaking entirely too loud – but apparently Baby Huey complained to his sergeant that the mean detective triggered him, and would the sergeant please go upstairs to speak with a manager.

So this tool, who was issued a firearm, handcuffs, and arrest powers by the commonwealth, asked his mommy and daddy to discipline the detective who gave him teh sadz.

No problem. There is plenty of room for him and his partner on The List. The List is filled with SJWs and arrogant types who act like children, and when they bring in jobs, they go to our “Special Investigator” – AKA Diego the Idiot Detective.

You know, a few years ago, a fellow detective was arguing with a police officer about a job, and he coined the greatest phrase in the history of policing. “Officer, you’re going to need us at lot sooner than we’re going to need you.” Truer words were never spoken.

10 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. The bright side of all this? When the city government defunds the police, he will be out of a job also. And you’ll be somewhere down south, in a state with no income tax and where they appreciate the police.

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  2. TX Nick – Saw a story at AOSHQ where a Tennessee BBQ place canceled an order for a Back the Blue event because BLM threatened to burn the business down. I’m starting to think no state is safe from the thugs and people who hate police. Arkansas and Alabama are starting to look better, Tennessee. Get your shit in order.

    RG – I’m certain the patrol sergeant demanded it, but my lieutenant is a good man.

    Kitty – I actually am, but not until after I retire.

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    1. Mitch, more shit is going to go down this 4th of July than we have ever seen. I have concluded that a) I need to stay completely sober, and b) I need to be armed. The shit is going to hit the fan.

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  3. Mitch – Wouldn’t surprise me. The Atlanta PD did this after they arrested the officer who killed the man in the Wendy’s drive-thru. They walked when the corrupt DA charged him with first-degree murder.

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    1. I can’t wait for all the tortured symbolism of Independence Day and whatever silly cause is being touted by that day’s hippies with signs and black-clad SA standing around them.

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      1. I’m torn between the actions which need to be implemented. On one hand, the president is likely trailing in the polls because it doesn’t seem like he’s doing anything. On the other hand, America is seeing blue cities and states let this thug get away with rampant lawlessness.

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