Minnesota Spice

Just when you thought Minnesota couldn’t possibly get any worse, some local cops are now citing and fining lake beachgoers for sunning themselves while topless or in the nude.

The Golden Valley Police Department used a drone to catch beachgoers breaking the law by going topless or nude at Twin Lake, just west of Theodore Wirth Park.

Wait, wait, wait, the department spying on nude sunbathers is called Golden Valley? HA HA! I’m sure they explored those valleys deeply.

The serenity on the somewhat hidden beach is what draws visitors, along with an understanding of sorts that many freely bare their body. Elsie Olin frequents the beach.

“It’s really well known for being a safe place to just be comfortable,” Olin said.

When Olin was there Friday, July 10, that freedom of expression wasn’t free from consequence as officers began taking information from people to potentially cite them for being topless or nude.

Minnesota won’t arrest or charge rioters, looters, or arsonists, but they’ll damn well dish out citations to topless beachgoers on a sparsely populated lake? Good grief, Minnesota, just secede to Canada already.

10 thoughts on “Minnesota Spice

    1. Wretched Witless is the governor of Michigan. Minnesota’s dictator is Tim Walz. The competence and obliviousness levels, however, do explain how people could be confused.


        1. P.S., fun fact about Golden Valley (other than it’s a pretty good area for estate sales): across Highway 55 from the local NBC affiliate (KARE, isn’t that adorable?), there’s an old mall where there’s a head shop/music store called Down in the Valley. Two doors down there’s a German style bar called The Grand Bohemian which takes great pride in its sausages.

          Don’t give up on us yet.


  1. Give me a break! They aren’t hurting anyone and Minnesota has too many major problems to count that they should be focusing on. Typical dem….focusing on the wrong things.


  2. TX Nick – At first I thought Gretch was very bangable, but then she opened her mouth and ruined it. Plus, the crazy eyes.

    Ronni – It’s such a stupid issue to focus upon while Minneapolis is a war zone.


    1. I knew Gretchen was a totalitarian when I saw her deliver the response to a State of the Union speech by President Trump. Even with the sound turned off, I could see she was champing at the bit to run people’s lives for them.


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