Don’t Trust China. China Is Asshoe!

China has been a bad actor since its founding. The country has sent us the Wuhan Virus, Jackie Chan, and now the Lanternfly. Lanternflies are indigenous to Asia – specifically China, Taiwan, and Vietnam – and were sent here in 2012, courtesy of China. The lanternflies destroy trees, vegetable gardens and flowers to name a few, and when they first appeared in PA, we were told to kill them on sight.

We’d see a few here or there, and did our best to stomp their asses. We have two trees in the backyard and two flower gardens, so the lanternflies are Wanted: Dead or, well, Dead. When we came back from the Outer Banks, there were a good dozen or so in the backyard. Some were sitting on the side of the house, some near the trees, and others near the flowerbeds.

The pricks walk around like they own the place.

So, I spent my Friday killing as many as possible – I’m pretty sure I came close to double digits – but they seemed to multiply almost immediately. I don’t want to be that Florida Man who uses a flamethrower to kill a spider, but at this point, I’m not ruling it out.

Seriously China, eat a buffet of dicks.

9 thoughts on “Don’t Trust China. China Is Asshoe!

  1. And don’t forget the Asian stink bug. Oops, we now need to be all PC and call the marmorated stink bugs so as not to offend the Chinks. Just like we had to rename the Chinkie Pox Covid-19. They’ve been causing holy hell on my peppers and some tomatoes. Speaking of Covid-19, here is how it started……..


  2. When I was a kid, I heard my Dad talk about Japanese beetles, but I’d never actually seen one until I moved back to Ohio.
    The first one I saw was beautiful, with gleaming coppery wings. Then when his buddies showed up to eat every bit of foliage in sight, it was stomp, crunch and chemical warfare.


  3. Tam – I never believed it was “accidentally released.” I believe it was purposely released to thin out the herd… especially in China.

    Cathy – Kevin stomped on three already today.

    TX Nick – I’m sure some enterprising chef could make it work. Paging Emeril…

    Lergnom – Well, then we need to rethink this fabulous bug!

    Mike – These look nice, too. until dozens of them descend upon your home and garden.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dozens? It was more like hundreds. Daily. I remember thinking the people who bought that house were so nasty, I almost wished they could experience the same joy I had with Japanese beetles.
      No disclosure for that on the sales agreements.


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