Profiles In Innovation

A mother in Greenfield Township, PA was charged with two counts of endangering the welfare of a child after she decided to “tow” the kids’ bicycles home… using a towel… while the kids were on the bicycles.

Nicole Paris’s son and a friend had gone for a long bicycle ride when they got tired on the trip home. So the boy called his mother for a lift back to their Pennsylvania residence. But when Paris, 34, reached the children, she realized that her car was not big enough for the juveniles and their bicycles.

So, cops say, Paris “came up with the idea” to place a towel in the car’s rear hatch, which then would serve as a towline for the children to hold onto while sitting atop their bikes.

What could possibly go wrong? You know, Nicole could have just told the boys to walk the bikes home instead of coddling the little punks.

However, as described in a criminal complaint, Paris’s invention failed miserably when her son “lost his grip” on the towel and fell off his bicycle. The boy’s friend then proceeded to run over his pal with his bicycle.

During a police investigation of the June 23 incident, Paris’s son “stated he wanted his mother charged and he would testify in court to this incident.”

So mom tries – and fails – to get both boys home safety because their widdle wegs were too tired, then the son effectively says, “Yeah, I’ll testify against the bitch.” I’m sorry, but if there is any villain here, it’s the son.

Yes, Nicole was effectively responsible for the accident, but there was no real intent. The kid, however, fully supports the mother’s incarceration, which should make Christmas more awkward than usual.

9 thoughts on “Profiles In Innovation

  1. When I was 19 my buddy was hanging on the driver’s door on my car while on his skateboard. We were doing about 30 or so.
    The cop who pulled us over called us both idiots for about 10 minutes and sent us on our way.

    In my defense, I wasn’t the one who was going to die.


  2. Veeshir – Correct! When I was a teen, I grabbed into the bumper of a UPS truck in a snowstorm so it could pull me down the street. Made it about fifty yards before I let go. My parents saw it, and that was the last time I was outside for a week.


    1. Bumper rides during blizzards were awesome!
      I’m not sure which was more fun, when the driver knew you were doing it or not.
      I used to do doughnuts for bumper riders when I was 16-18.
      Yes, alcohol was involved.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I lived in the mountains, near a railroad line as a kid. Now and then they would have a “slow” order for reasons unknown, so we kids would just hop a frieght for 3-5 miles, then the bad part was having to walk back home, all down the rr track. It was always worth it for the ride. We always threatened an overnight ride somewhere, but figured we be murdered somewhere.


  3. RG – I always wanted to be a railroad engineer. Riding the rails all day and night. It’s what I’d like to do when I retire, except I’d be entirely too old.


  4. Talk about an accident just waiting to happen. I know I am older than dirt, but growing up we literally rode our bikes miles every single day when the weather permitted.


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