True Detective Stories

After two relaxing weeks in North Carolina, I trudged back into the office this weekend. Going back to work after vacation is always depressing, and it’s why I only take two weeks every year. If I took three weeks for summer vacation, I would literally never come back.

Traffic was horrible for a weekend, and I arrived five minutes early – it’s usually fifteen – climbed the two flights of steps to the division, placed my dinner into the fridge, and wept for about ten minutes. Okay, I didn’t weep, but I certainly wanted to do so.

To give you an idea of how the day went, this was the first thing I saw upon entering:

That’s the sign outside the men’s room. We can use one of the urinals, but the second urinal and both toilets are completely out of commission. I was told this has been the case for a week and a half, and the city has not deemed us worthy of a repair…

The kitchen was filled with flies – as always – but someone on the day shift made coffee and let it sit for about eight hours. So my first job of the day was to clean the burnt coffee out of the pot – I don’t even drink coffee – and try to mitigate the stench.

I walked to my desk and was greeted by coworkers, and even before I placed my bag on the desk, a cop comes up and drops off a robbery report. Dude, can you give me five damned minutes? I started to set up my desk, logged into the computer, and saw this awesome message:

“Your login credentials have been temporarily revoked.”

Wonderful. Now I had to call downtown and let them know that, “Hey, I can’t do my job until you get me signed back on.” The tech answered, took my information, and asked me to hold on. After a minute or two, the guy comes back and says, “Okay, you need your supervisor to send us a ticket, and we’ll get you all set up.”

Sweet! Everything is coming up Wyatt…

“…and my supervisor can get you back onto the system sometime Monday.”

Monday? MONDAY?? Are you f**king kidding me? We’re the busiest division in the city, and it’s a weekend. What the f**k am I supposed to do until then, twiddle my thumbs?

Apparently that was exactly what I was supposed to do, but my supervisor suggested I use a coworker’s sign-on for the next two days. So I’ll be using his sign-on for a couple of days until this completely broken police department gets its shit together.

8 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. All I can tell you is that your time will come. I have six Saturdays and one Sunday in my week. It’s usually quite pleasant.


    1. It is great to be retired. I have had the six Saturdays and one Sunday now for 6 1/2 years. I haven’t regretted getting out right before I turned 60 for one second…………….


  2. RG – I hate this job anymore. Between BLM, Antifa, and the usual people who hate our guts, I’m starting to hate them right back.

    Tam – I’ll have to find work after I retire from here – I’ll only be 55 – but it’ll be a welcome change. Hell, I’d be happy stocking shelves at a supermarket at this point. As long as I don’t have to interact with humans.

    TX Nick – The cellroom is on the first floor. They take their small water bottles and flush them down the toilet. That starts a chain reaction which clogs every other toilet in the building, but no one addresses it.

    Cathy – Nor do I, and I deal with stupidity every day.


    1. It’s sad that you have grown to hate these lowlifes. I spent just under nine years being a policeman and that was in the 1970’s. Most of the decade. I didn’t start hating them, I did hate them, with a passion. That was the precipitating reason I left police work. If I hadn’t, I’d have probably turned into somebody I would not have liked. Hang in there and consider life in retirement.


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