You may remember a post I made on Wednesday, chronicling my seemingly insignificant back injury. I pulled a muscle while using the rowing machine at the gym, but I assumed I’d be good to go back to work this past Thursday.
I spent my days off alternating between ice packs and heating pads, plus short walks to keep my back as loose as Lindsay Lohan’s va-jay-jay. The first few hours of the day were excruciating, but by mid-afternoon, everything felt better. This trend continued until Friday morning – the day I expected to go back to work.
My first issue was sleep. I compiled approximately four hours sleep between Tuesday night and Friday morning. The pain was that bad. I rolled out of bed at 5:15 Friday, giving myself enough time to loosen up, use the heating pad, then get ready for work. The problem was my upper body felt like it was crushing my lower body, and the pain was unbearable. I tried to suck it up – I have a really high pain threshold – but after almost an hour, I gave up.
I climbed the stairs, woke up Mrs. Earp, and told her I needed to get to the doctor’s office immediately. I couldn’t bend over, so Mrs. Earp had to help me put on pants, socks, and my shoes…
The ride over was awful, because every pothole felt like another knife in my back. The missus dropped me off and would come back after taking the kids to school. The doc – who was gorgeous – came in, poked and prodded me for a while, and said there did not seem to be any serious damage. No bone issues or spinal problems. Apparently the problem seems to be a sprained lower back muscle, and it will take days – if not weeks – for it to heal completely.
The good news is the doc gave me a box of Lidocaine patches for the back pain, plus some absolutely fabulous muscle relaxers. They also gave me a shot of what they called Motrin on steroids, and that really helped.
The doc gave me discharge papers containing a multitude of stretches which would help with the pain, but she also suggested I try yoga. Now, normally I would respond with, “So you think I’m gay?” but she was pretty enough for me to listen. She suggested I keep an open mind, and claimed it would really help loosening up the muscle.
This is my fantasy instructor, by the way…
I looked up some basic yoga poses and read a lot about it. At this point, I’ll try anything to avoid another day as painful as this one. Wish me luck.