Back To Cruel

You may remember a post I made on Wednesday, chronicling my seemingly insignificant back injury. I pulled a muscle while using the rowing machine at the gym, but I assumed I’d be good to go back to work this past Thursday.

Nah, brah.

I spent my days off alternating between ice packs and heating pads, plus short walks to keep my back as loose as Lindsay Lohan’s va-jay-jay. The first few hours of the day were excruciating, but by mid-afternoon, everything felt better. This trend continued until Friday morning – the day I expected to go back to work.

My first issue was sleep. I compiled approximately four hours sleep between Tuesday night and Friday morning. The pain was that bad. I rolled out of bed at 5:15 Friday, giving myself enough time to loosen up, use the heating pad, then get ready for work. The problem was my upper body felt like it was crushing my lower body, and the pain was unbearable. I tried to suck it up – I have a really high pain threshold – but after almost an hour, I gave up.

I climbed the stairs, woke up Mrs. Earp, and told her I needed to get to the doctor’s office immediately. I couldn’t bend over, so Mrs. Earp had to help me put on pants, socks, and my shoes…

The ride over was awful, because every pothole felt like another knife in my back. The missus dropped me off and would come back after taking the kids to school. The doc – who was gorgeous – came in, poked and prodded me for a while, and said there did not seem to be any serious damage. No bone issues or spinal problems. Apparently the problem seems to be a sprained lower back muscle, and it will take days – if not weeks – for it to heal completely.

Awesome.

The good news is the doc gave me a box of Lidocaine patches for the back pain, plus some absolutely fabulous muscle relaxers. They also gave me a shot of what they called Motrin on steroids, and that really helped.

The doc gave me discharge papers containing a multitude of stretches which would help with the pain, but she also suggested I try yoga. Now, normally I would respond with, “So you think I’m gay?” but she was pretty enough for me to listen. She suggested I keep an open mind, and claimed it would really help loosening up the muscle.

This is my fantasy instructor, by the way…

I looked up some basic yoga poses and read a lot about it. At this point, I’ll try anything to avoid another day as painful as this one. Wish me luck.

16 thoughts on “Back To Cruel

  1. I understand the pain you’re going through. I fell off a 40 foot cliff in 2007, leaving some permanent damage. My hip and knee have been killing me this week because I was foolhardy enough to go walk on the beach the previous Friday night. I also have had back injuries that will act up every so often, and it’s not in the least fun.

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  2. I feel for ya, buddy. Been there, done that many moons ago. A six pack and a couple Flexeril/day for about a month or so will fix you right up. Or kill you. Either way you will feel much better………….

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  3. My husband used to put his back out a lot and end up in the fetal position after a day at the office. I told him I was tired of being married to a 45-y-o man who looked like he was 90 because he refused to see a chiropractor, so I made the appointment for him. Turned out it was best thing he could have done. He’s never put his back out again when he couldn’t fix it himself with a few stretches.

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  4. My Lady does yoga about every day. She is in great physical condition, with enough stamina to put up with me. Now that I can no longer use the “pushing 70 is exercise enough” excuse, I may have to do that or something like that to keep fit.

    Back to technical diving…

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  5. Good luck getting up off the floor. If your kids are anything like you, they’ll take pictures (after they stop laughing) before they help you up.

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  6. Jim – Okay, but you’re missing something special.

    Phillip – I already have two herniated disks from ice hockey and lacrosse. I can manage that but this current predicament is really awful.

    Mike47 – It takes me almost an hour to get the back loose, and I’m on day work next week. I’ll be waking up at 5am, so that should be awesome.

    Tam – I’ve been taking Flexeril on days off, but I am still really sleepy when I wake up. I won’t take then the night before day work, since I’d rather not fall asleep at the wheel.

    Ingineer – She’d straighten out something…

    Kitty – My brother-in-law swear chiropractors are the greatest people ever. Maybe when I’m healed I’ll make an appointment. Can’t hurt. Probably.

    TX Nick – The small amount of yoga I’ve been doing has helped. I mean I’m learning off YouTube but it’s a start.

    MelP – Kevin and Julia have been great. Kyle and Erik like laughing at me.

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  7. I’m back from a boat trip. Fun, problems, and fun and more problems, but I made it home… I have had back/neck problems for years and feel for you because I suffer from lots of chronic pain. Hope you get well soon.

    I do have a question about you fantasy instructor. Why do you want someone who can only walk around on their hands that has no lower body? Still hot though.

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