Just Another Day In The Big City

Regular readers may remember the trouble we had with out millennial next door neighbors. They were, for the most part harmless, but every weekend they held raucous drunken parties in their backyard. Their jackass friends took all the parking spaces on the street, urinated on our lawn, and kept the kids up with their caterwauling. They lived next door for about six years, and the day they moved we wanted to throw a party.

The house went up for sale and a Russian guy purchased the house. But instead of moving in, this prick decided he would rent the property instead, and make some money. Two very shady Asian men moved into the residence, and soon after, the Asians decided to turn the house into an AirBnB. The Asians still lived there, but they rented a room to virtually every vagrant in the tri-state area.

Our neighborhood is very quiet, and filled with a lot of police officers and firefighters. It’s one of the last decent places in the city, and the neighbors make sure it stays that way. But recently, the Asians stopped the AirBnB – apparently they never got a license to rent – and added another roomie – an Hispanic male – who is even shadier than the Asians.

(Oh, and before you start throwing out cries of racism, I am mentioning their race as personal descriptors, nothing more.)

The first Asian who moved in seemed very nice, always said hello, and took out the garbage. The second Asian always looks angry and walks up and down the street often, as if he’s casing houses. The Hispanic male is always either drunk or high, and he has a habit of meeting people in cars at night, making hand-to-hand exchanges.

Now, since I have four kids and a wife at home, I do my best to overlook the drug use – and obvious sales – as well as the rampant drunkenness. My neighbors have talked to the owner and expressed their frustration with these assclowns and what they are doing to my property values. Apparently, my neighbors didn’t want me speaking to the owner, because they know how that “discussion” would go.

Sorry for the long buildup, but I needed to lay the foundation for what happened Thursday night.

It was raining rather heavily when I came home from work. I ran inside, got changed, and headed to the kitchen for an iced tea. As I went toward the kitchen, I heard someone ferociously banging on my front door. It was after 11pm, raining, and I was not expecting visitors. For a moment, I thought it may have been Kyle, since he usually goes out to a friend’s house when sports are on TV. So I walked to the door and opened it.

It was the Hispanic.

This piece of garbage was both drunk and high – again – and thought he was at his house instead of mine. He tried to push past me, and in my best police voice, I said, “Hey asshole, this isn’t your fucking house!” I pushed his chest, and he backed up. The assumption is he saw the “I’m going to beat you to death” look on my face. Realizing his mistake, he said, “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I’m sorry,” before walking to his actual house.

I sent a few texts to the neighbor on the other side of the “alleged” drug dealer’s house, and we’ll be alerting the close neighbors as well. As for me, I’m going to have a discussion with these assholes when I see them, and remind them what I do for a living. I also expect to have a frank discussion with the Russian next time he is on the block, including his liability for his renters and their extracurricular activities.

I hate this city, but I love this neighborhood. That said, I am not going to sit idly by while three fuck-sticks ruin a great block because some Russian POS wants to make some extra cash.

6 thoughts on “Just Another Day In The Big City

  1. I guess their like State Farm, a “good neighbor” who is always there.
    Well, except for the fact that they are always there being assholes. My condolences.
    FYI, out west, we have a lot of mine shafts. Not much mining any more, but these mine shafts make great storage areas… for unruly neighbors.

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  2. Don’t be surprised if your house gets vandalized now (paint, eggs, rocks. etc.) This is beginning to happen in the best of neighborhoods in CA, and it even makes the morning news. Vandals are cheap and plentiful, especially with all the “homeless” around.

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  3. RG – Yeah, there’s a quarry where my grandfather worked near Norristown. That would do nicely.

    Mike47 – Well, since I know everyone on the block, and everyone knows what I do for a living, I can solve any vandalism in 2.4 seconds. Then the cop in me comes out, and I get their house hit by the Narcotics Strike Force.

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      1. The police dropped off one of the tenants next door. I was at Erik’s lacrosse game, but we think it was the same prick who tried to get into the house. Get this: he was drunk and/or high again.

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