True Detective Stories

The recent “peaceful protests” have been effecting everyone at work, and for the most part, the riots are making everyone much dumber. Let me tell you about the last few days.

Saturday was extremely busy. In between two shootings, a homicide, and some lootings, I also had to deal with a rookie cop who thought he knew everything about the job after being on the street for less than a year. This jackass brings up a report of vandalism, and before I read the report, he says, “I think she’s lying.”

The victim is a store owner, and she claimed rioters smashed her front window. The window was not very large, but the victim claimed it was worth $15,000. I asked this genius why he would take a report if you thought she was lying. The kid looks at me with a scowl, and says, “What am I supposed to do?” I responded, “Maybe you could ask a few questions before writing anything down. You’re the initial officer, so it’s your job to ask questions if you have them.”

The cop gave me a sarcastic sigh – smart move – so I took his report and told him to hit the road. This douchebag will likely be a lieutenant in three years…

Saturday also saw a detective pull a Diego. The detective had to check for cameras in the area of a prior robbery. He parked the city vehicle by the curb, opened the door, and dropped the keys into a sewer. It was raining heavily, so fishing the keys was not an option. The detective waited for nearly an hour before calling the division, and telling me what happened.

I told him to call Police Tow to see if they had a spare key – they didn’t – and to call the Water Department to open the sewer – they couldn’t – so I asked the $20,000 Question. “Hey, did you call any of the supervisors yet?”

“Um, no, not yet.”

“Maybe you should have done that first. You’re going to get your ass chewed out, but the longer you wait, the worse it’s going to be.” It took the detective another half hour to call a supervisor, and suffice to say, the bosses were royally pissed. We were already really busy, and his stupidity had us short while jobs were funneling in.

The Water Department was not able to fish for the keys until Monday, and the detective is no longer allowed to take vehicles without a chaperone.

5 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. Ronni – Not exactly the best and brightest. I think it’s funny how the city is trying to defund us, and some of these clowns are still working their asses off for nonsense.

    Doc – That is sadly correct.


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