Die, Hollywood, Die

The box office receipts for the Thanksgiving weekend have been released, and they’re lower than my testicles when I get out of the shower. Thankfully, my testicles are more robust than Hollywood’s new films, and have a better script and direction.

The Croods: New Age, the top movie over the Thanksgiving weekend, grossed a terrible $14.2 million. That was over the five-day weekend — meaning Wednesday through Sunday. Over three days (Friday- Sunday), it grossed just $9.7 million.

A good faith look at the top ten movies over Thanksgiving weekend finds that they did not top $20 million total. What I mean is that all ten movies did not bring in more than $20 million together. Three of the movies in the top ten are old enough to drive: Elf (2003), The Santa Clause (1994), and Christmas Vacation (1989).

What’s interesting, though, is that Croods: New Age bottomed out with just $14.2 million over five days, even though it was released in 2,211 theaters. That’s a lot of theaters. Granted, that’s about half the number of theaters it would have been released into in pre-coronavirus America but that’s still a sizable number of theaters, enough theaters — even with social distancing, to gross a respectable amount, which tells me that even though theaters are open near them, people are still not going to the movies.

I believe there are two reasons for these numbers. Sure, the Chinese Wuhan Virus has something to do with it – no one wants to wear a mask when they could be eating popcorn – and people (leftists, mostly) are still scared the virus will smite them.

The other reason is people are getting tired of Woke Hollywood, their SJW “talent,” and movies in general. If you insult regular Americans long enough, they’ll simply walk away. Why would anyone spend nearly twenty dollars to see a film, and another fifteen dollars for soda and popcorn, when you can just wait until it hits free TV?

I believe the Chinese Wuhan Virus is destroying our universities – who wants to pay $50,000 for online classes? – and Hollywood is following suit. We don’t need Hollywood anymore, and hopefully our flight will result in their demise.

12 thoughts on “Die, Hollywood, Die

  1. Wyatt, no matter how robust you may think your testicles are, you just did something that caused permanent trauma to male brain cells of your loyal (and disloyal) readers. It may be months before I can read your blog again without the involuntary mental image of unwelcome man-parts! I think we will need something opposite to balance out the picture.

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  2. Hey Hollywood, We’re All In This Together!

    I don’t often tell people what to post on their blog, but I too would rather not hear about your man-parts.
    What makes it worse is the ad I’m seeing, instead of the usual ‘duckduckgo’ ad I’m seeing a New itch relief cream ad.

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  3. The only thing I’d enjoy more than seeing all of Hollywood go belly up in bankruptcy would be the NFL doing the same thing. Thankfully, both these fine groups are doing their best to get woke and go broke.

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  4. TXNick – Well, if nothing else, my (golf) balls go through the ball washer. And no, the ball washer is not Kamala Harris.

    RG – Ratings are still down, which is high-larious.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I live in NYS; Fredo’s dumber brother is our gov’nor. Our movie theaters have been closed for MONTHS. I honestly didn’t know movies were still being made.

    No comments concerning your naughty bits.

    Like

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