Yank Yer Doodle, It’s A Dandy

Meet Kyle Weiss. Kyle is a young, energetic man who deeply misses his girlfriend. Separated by half a continent. Weiss decided to take matters into his own hands, so to speak.

Police were summoned yesterday afternoon to a Walmart in Vero Beach by a woman who reported that a man who was parked next to her was masturbating while behind the wheel of a car that had its driver’s side window open.

Why is it always Walmart?

Upon arriving at the parking lot, cops stopped a Kia with out-of-state plates and asked the driver to exit the vehicle. When Kyle Weiss, 26, stepped out of his car, there was little doubt he was the suspect being sought: “I noticed that he had an obvious erection protruding in his shorts,” a cop reported.

During further questioning, Weiss reportedly admitted that he was lying to police. Asked by an Indian River County Sheriff’s Office deputy how he “crossed over from doing his work business to playing with himself,” Weiss “said he is lonely as his ex-girlfriend is in Colorado.”

The guy claimed he worked for a food delivery business, so I assume he was just adding some of his special sauce to the order.

2 thoughts on “Yank Yer Doodle, It’s A Dandy

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