True Detective Stories

The first three days of the daywork tour have been a nightmare. We had three detectives on Saturday, four on Sunday, and four on Monday. Monday was more egregious because as I walked in, the previous tour left us with a robbery, a burglary arrest, a stolen gun, and a self-inflicted gunshot wound. So every detective caught a terrible job before 7:30am.

Naturally everyone was pissed, but the worst job of all turned out to be the burglary. The cops were abysmal human failures who took three hours to bring in the report. They then went downstairs to START their paperwork, and that took another half hour. The cops – a male and a female – looked like they were twelve, but definitely had the maturity of six year olds.

When the paperwork was finished, the male came to my desk and just stared at me. Annoyed, I asked, “What do you have, officer?” He replied he had an arrest, which he told me a half hour before. I asked him for the paperwork, and he snidely replied, “I’m getting it all together.” Now, I’m angry.

“All I need is your incident report. Do you have that?” He handed me the report, and I entered it into the system before sending him on his way to his detective. The two dolts recovered a crowbar from the scene, and placed it on a property receipt.

Both cops kept walking back and forth through the building like they had ADHD. The male dealt with the detective and the female just did her own thing. At one point, she was sitting in the lobby with the crowbar. Moments later, I saw she was gone and the crowbar was lying on the floor. A short time later, the bimbo pops back up, walks past the crowbar, and enters the division.

I stopped her and said, “Just a little bit of advice. You may want to stay near the crowbar, since people walk through this area all the time. You know, since it’s EVIDENCE.” She looked at me and said, “Well, it’s just a crowbar.”

I stared at her for a moment, and responded, “It’s also the only evidence linking your defendant with the burglary. But hey, you be you.” I swear, these cops are getting dumber by the day.

1,270 days.

10 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. I see Philly made Fox News this morning with it’s inept DA. Evidently he doesn’t believe in the “time fitting the crime” scenario. Sounds like even with the crowbar as evidence, the burglar will get off with a stern warning with your current DA. Does he realize he is supposed to prosecute these felons? No wonder crime is up. Keep counting down, Wyatt and stay safe.


  2. Ronni – He’s one of the many Soros-appointed DAs which are ruining the country. His ADA’s have been approving warrants for felons, then a day or say after the fact, the felony charges disappear. Krasner has then denying the felony charges after the fact, so the criminals can get back on the street ASAP.


  3. Cathy – It’s what the mayor, police commissioner, and the people want, so I would guess yes. There’s an election in a week, and Krasner has a challenger, but since free and fair elections are a thing of the past, this douche will be reelected in a landslide.


  4. Godspeed to the old time coppers out there. Here’s to hoping we can some day again see batches of applicants/trainees that want to get bad guys and who really want to make a difference. Newbies are pretty oblivious it seems (is this more of a big city PD issue?).


  5. JimBob – It’s prevalent in big cities, with kids coming out of college and thinking they know everything. I went to college and I spent my first month shutting my mouth and learning from veterans. The new breed doesn’t do that, and when we give them advice, they ignore it.


    1. It seems they have no sense of the gravity or seriousness of the LE role itself, never mind an appreciation for just doing an adequate job on a particular assignment. After wanting to be a policeman since I was a kid in the 70’s (since retired), I always wore the badge with pride and honor, hoping to gain a little respect from my fellow officers through the years.


      1. Jimbob – The job isn’t what it used to be, which is why I signed up for early retirement. The job now is all about jamming officers up, and handcuffing us from doing the job. If I was still in patrol, I would have quit already.


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