Lousy Wednesday Drivers

So imagine you’re a police officer – perish the thought – and you’re sitting in the office, eating a vanilla iced donut, when all of the sudden some lunatic decided to make your building a drive-thru.

Hours after the incident, roads are back open and DeKalb County Sheriff’s officials continue to investigate a car which crashed into the front of the Sycamore Police Department building late Wednesday.

Were the donuts okay? In the era of Defund the Police, most officers would assume this was a deliberate act, which is why the police chief called in the bomb squad.

Andy Sullivan, chief deputy for the sheriff’s office, said at about 2:30 p.m. Wednesday the Kane County Bomb Squad used robotic devices to probe for potential explosives to inspect the crashed car “just for precautionary measures.” The robots opened doors and the trunk of the silver Sedan, which had not yet been towed from the scene where it crashed into the front brick wall near the entrance of the police department.

I’m surprised no one crashed into our building, but they probably know about the rampant asbestos crawling through the walls.

Sullivan said there were no explosives found in the car and “the vehicle was determined safe by the bomb squad.” He said the probe was not prompted by anything suspicious being seen in the car’s cabin.

Besides the idiot behind the wheel.

Cook said officers are still piecing together details, but the driver – later identified as Benjamin Eisenach, 37, of Hinckley – was the only occupant in the silver sedan when it crashed into the building. (H/T – ChiefJayBob)

The chief claimed he did not appear to be under the influence, which leaves two choices. The guy wanted to plow into a few cops, or he is the dumbest driver this side of Flori-duh Man.

5 thoughts on “Lousy Wednesday Drivers

  1. One thing is certain. This is going to be a costly accident for this idiot. Going to need building repairs and replacement for anything inside he trashed; as a 37 year old male, his insurance rates are going to skyrocket and he also has the cost of a new or repaired vehicle. No way was it worth it if he did this on purpose.

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  2. HOME TOWN REPRESENT!!!

    One thing glossed over in the story: our boy Benjamin had a court date that morning for a charge of battery to a police officer. So the current working theory is that this dumb shit meant to crash into the COURT house, but fucked that up, too. Or maybe he got to Sycamore for his court date, decided the cops were the source of all his trouble, and just set eyes on the closest cop target.

    I donno. It’s a fool who looks for logic in the hearts of men.

    WHEEEEEE!!!!

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  3. Ronni – I’m sure he has a job at a Fortune 500 company, so this shouldn’t be a problem.

    CJB – I’m going to go out on a limb and say he wasn’t his high school valedictorian. Good to see Philly doesn’t have a monopoly on dumbasses.

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