True Detective Stories

Obviously, I understand many of these True Detective Stories are little more than bitch-fests. That said, this is the bitchiest bitch-fest I have ever written since I started blogging in 2005.

(2005? Holy crap, I’ve wasted sixteen years of my life!)

After two glorious days off, I returned to work Thursday afternoon ready to roll up my sleeves and put in the usual twenty unassigned jobs my coworkers left me. The good news is there were not twenty unassigned jobs in the queue, there were sixty-one.


After seeing the list, I stood up and walked downstairs, went out the door, and walked around the building before I literally murdered someone. I came back, notified my supervisor, and started entering the jobs. So I was looking at sixty-one jobs, plus the current jobs which were coming in. I worked from 3pm to 9pm, only stopping to use the bathroom and a very quick scarfing of my salad…

I was at the pistol range on my last day, then off for two days. Three different detectives took the front desk each day, and I sincerely do not know what they did for eight hours. Yes, nightwork is busy, but the replacements put in maybe ten to twelve jobs. You couldn’t enter a few of the old jobs, too?

I mean, I like a good amount of my coworkers, but they seem to stop working when I’m not in the building. It’s almost as if I can’t take a day off for fear of coming back to a crap ton of work which should have been handled.

In the end, I managed to enter fifty-two jobs, which I believe are the most jobs entered in one eight-hour tour. I was pretty proud of myself, considering, and was even more proud of myself for not burning the building down.

Oh, I guess the silver lining is all those detectives’ inboxes are full with jobs, because they were the ones working when the jobs accumulated.

1,252 days.

11 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. Do hope you are keeping a record of what you daily face, just in case you encounter an unsympathetic supervisor…


  2. Why do I have the feeling that when you retire the next one to get your job may just not have your restraint and just haul off and shoot someone.


  3. Do your best to be a better person than the idiots. Trust me they hate that. Now take your anger out on your bike.


  4. Gary – I’ve already asked who wanted to take over for me. In a platoon of fourteen detectives, every answer was “No.”

    Cathy – I had physical therapy today. I’m too tired and sore to murder anyone today.


  5. 1262 Days… just under 3.5 years. Sounds like forever, but the time will fly if you enjoy the rest of your life, which can’t be too hard since you have such a great family. Getting your shoulder fixed eventually will make a big difference too. Who knows, when that happens and you’re off a couple of weeks or even more, maybe these ingrates will let every job back up until you show up back at work. You can find solace in knowing that the “fine” citizens of Philadelphia will get the service they deserve from Philly PD. Keep your eye on the goal!


  6. I retired 2 months ago after 34 years at a welfare dept in central CA. My mother was worried that I wouldn’t be able to let go, but I realized last year, when I made my decision, that my spirit animal would be a honey badger & I didn’t give a sh!t anymore. The best part was I outlasted the b*tch that kept trying to get rid of me & even better was the person that she was trying to replace me with got my reports & she found out that I had to reconcile over $10 million every month on just 1 set of reports.


  7. MelP – Well, if nothing else, you were always busy. I still really like the job as it was intended, but the way this department is headed, it will be Thunderdome in five years.


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