Meet Jose Aramburo Molina Jr. of Phoenix, Arizona. Jose is a partying kind of guy, so nothing says party hearty than finding the keys to a mortuary van and taking it on a joyride.
Authorities received a call from South Mountain Mortuary just before 1 p.m. Wednesday. Employees had left the vehicle alone for a short time while it was running. Officers then spotted a van matching the description of the mortuary vehicle in the area of 32nd Street and Roeser Road. Jose Aramburo Molina Jr. was located a short time later. Police said he matched witness descriptions and surveillance video of the suspect.
I mean, does this guy look like he would steal a mortuary van?
According to Molina’s court paperwork, he was found with five blue pills, which officers believed to be fentanyl, along with several other drugs. Police also found a key fob for the stolen van, which authorities then used to unlock the vehicle. At the scene, an eyewitness identified Molina. Authorities also confirmed two bodies were inside.
After being arrested by the officers, Jose was heard saying, “Wow, I am dead tired.”
The O.K. Corral 
Did he scream like a little girl or smile like a perv when he found the dead bodies?
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“five blue pills” At least it wasn’t Viagra and he wasn’t tempted to “crack open a cold one”!
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Cathy – Probably the first, then the second. Dude looks like a pedophile.
Mike AKA Proof – *shudder* Haven’t seen fentanyl in a blue pill yet, but maybe it’s making its way east.
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Stole a Mortuary Van was he looking to make a killing at a chop shop?
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Cops said one of the corpses was “a female. And she was drop dead gorgeous.”
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A guy tells his buddy he thinks his wife is dead.
“Dead? What do you mean by that?”
“Well, the sex is the same, but the dishes are starting to pile up pin the sink!”
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Two guys out fishing ing a boat. One says, “I’m thinking about leaving my wife. She hasn’t said a word to me in three months.”
His buddy replied, “Are you nuts? Women like that are hard to find!”
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