True Detective Stories

I apologize for two TDS posts in as many days, but this woman perfectly encapsulated everything wrong with modern-day policing.

A female officer and her male partner brought in a firearms arrest an hour before our shift ended. This is always a problem because we are not allowed to accrue overtime for these jobs. A detective has to start the paperwork, then dish it off to the next shift. It’s frustrating because you don’t want to start a job and just leave it for someone else.

A few months ago, the Soros-appointed District Attorney decided we had to use a DNA swab on every person arrested for firearms possession. One oral swab for the offender, and another to swab the gun. Obviously, we need to apply for a search warrant, take it downtown to be signed, and execute it afterward. In short, the D.A. turned an easy forty-five minute job to a two hour nightmare. We adapted, but whatever.

After the DNA order went out, another order was made for my squad. We will not assign any gun arrests until all the officer’s paperwork is finished. The order is not flexible, and if an officer brings in a gun without paperwork, they will wait until everything is completed.

Mind you, this has been policy for a few months now…

Anyway, the female officer comes in, drops the initial police report on my desk, and says, “We have a gun arrest.” My first question was obvious: “Is the paperwork done?” She looks at me and says, “The bio report is downstairs (strike one) and my partner is starting the arrest memo (strike two).”

For the first time ever, I actually did NOT roll my eyes. I did, however, reply with, “Okay, you can leave the report here, and I’ll assign it when all your paperwork is done.”

The officer, who has maybe three or four years on the job, believed she was entitled to quick service, and the rules should not apply to her. She was sadly mistaken.

“So, you’re not going to assign the job?”
“No, not until all the paperwork is done.”

(For the record, she made the list. Enjoy working with Diego from now on.)

The reason we don’t immediately assign the job is because we cannot trust the cops to be diligent in their paperwork. The cops would get the name of the detective and disappear for an hour or so. Eventually, the detective would have to scour the building to find them.

The female looked at me with disgust – just like when I was in high school – and muttered something under her breath. She turned around to get her partner from downstairs, and I reminded her of something she should have known. “This is an order from a supervisor. It has been the order for months.”

She turned back and glared at me, and I found myself thinking what would have happened if I was a rookie arguing with a detective back in 1995. I probably would have been assaulted – they used to throw report books at you if you challenged them (seriously) – and banned from the division. Now this brand new cop is questioning someone with nearly twenty-seven years on the job. Well, she probably knows better.

I figured I’d remind her – again – of the policy, hoping it would sink in. “It. Is. A. Supervisor’s. Order.”

Eventually, the supervisor came to my desk and I mentioned what happened. The boss looked at the clock and said, “Eh, tell them the next shift will handle it.”


6 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. Cathy – I’ll find another job after this. I’ll only be 55 when I leave, but I told my coworkers I’ll look for something where I don’t have to interact with people. Like stocking shelves.


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