This Guy Has Skin In The Game

A Flori-Duh man who allegedly dabbles in drug dealing, was dismayed when his jailers found his secret internal stash of methamphetamine.

A man whose rap sheet includes more than a dozen drug convictions was arrested last month after jailers discovered four “crystal rocks” of methamphetamine stored inside the defendant’s “penis skin,” according to an arrest affidavit.

Shaft Bang Adams, 30, was collared in mid-May for driving with a suspended or revoked license and booked into the Orange County jail on the misdemeanor count.

Honestly, Shaft Bang Adams is the perfect name for this jackass.

During the jail intake process, Adams was subjected to a strip search during which a correctional officer reported finding “4 crystal rocks white in color inside the ‘penis skin’ of Mr. Adams.” A subsequent field test of the rocks “tested positive for Methamphetamine.”

Now I don’t want to make assumptions, but I’m torn between thinking Shaft hides his drugs under a giant foreskin, or he jams it into his dick hole. (Is dick hole even a word?)

7 thoughts on “This Guy Has Skin In The Game

  1. Who decides on which of the intake jailers get to pull back the guy’s foreskin to check? Or, examine his rectal cavity. Not my idea of a way to spend my day.

    Like

  2. RG – Usually the turnkey does it. I cannot imagine that’s a rewarding job.

    Veeshir – It’s a match made in junkie heaven.

    Mushdogs – I’m wondering if it would be better to put it in a dickhole than an anus.

    Like

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