True Detective Stories

I have never been a big fan of the daywork shift. Going to bed at 9am is awful, waking up at 5:30am is even more awful, and while the day shift is usually somewhat less chaotic, it’s still rather busy.

Having said that, the overnight shift had a handful of amazing, hard-working detectives, mixed with a handful of absolute bums. Take this morning for instance. As I walked into the building – half hour early, as usual – there was a report waiting on my desk. One of the decent detectives yelled, “Oh, there’s a guy who’s downstairs who claims he lost his gun. He’s waiting to be interviewed.”

Naturally, I assumed the report was just filed, and we had time to scan the report and take the interview. After getting myself settled, I looked at the report and lost my damned mind. The report was taken at 5:30am

The report was taken at the police district’s window downstairs, so the report likely arrived at 5:45am. The overnight shift doesn’t end until 7am, and you mean to tell me not one of these clowns could take a five-minute interview? Seriously??

I didn’t bother asking these lazy asses why no one bothered to do their job, and I gave it to one of our detectives; despite the fact it wasn’t reported on our tour, and there was ample time for one of the overnighters to do so.

About fifteen minutes later, I gathered yesterday’s jobs, and started entering them into the system. As I looked at the job sheet, I realized there were no jobs entered on the overnight shift. In sixteen years here, I have never seen a clean sheet, so I checked the log book. Apparently the overnighters handled eleven jobs, and exactly zero were entered.

What. The. F**k?

Now, I had two options. I could pretend I never saw the omissions and go about my day, or I could find the jobs, look up the information, and enter them into the system. I looked at the jobs for a good ten minutes, and the guilt got to me. I decided to enter the jobs.

You know, there’s something to be said about parents instilling a strong work ethic in their children. There’s also something to be said about Irish-Catholic guilt. It wasn’t my job to enter the other shift’s workload, but if I didn’t enter them, the captain would likely come to me and ask me to enter them anyway.

That’s fine and all, but it would be better if the captain addressed the real problems in the division; specifically, a crop of very lazy detectives.

7 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. Our of the three of us in my office we have one who does not like to work. She is always a few minutes late, takes at least 90 minutes for lunch instead of 60 and leaves a few minutes early. When she is here, she is usually trying to palm off her work on the other two of us. It gets old in a hurry. Hang in there and keep counting down, kid.


  2. Ronni – I’m not expecting these people to be Employee of the Month, but at least do the bare freakin’ minimum. Shouldn’t be too much to ask.


  3. Ever thought of saying they said they would enter them on their next shift? Better yet, tell them they will, and use their agreement as your excuse.


  4. RG – Well, I’d actually like to get these jobs solved, and there’s no wat Diego could solve how to zip up his pants.

    RD – One of the overnighters asked why I didn’t enter his returned missing person yesterday. I replied, “If your desk guy had done his job, I would have had time.”


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