Meet Anthony Towles of Tyrone, PA.
Anthony was working at a Five Guys restaurant when a coworker claimed Anthony wasn’t working hard enough. Anthony did not appreciate this constructive criticism, and decided to do something about it.
Anthony Towles, 51, of Tyrone, is facing felony charges after police were called to Five Guys in Altoona and found the victim with a stab wound to their neck, mere inches from a carotid artery.
It’s literally a miracle no one has done this to Diego.
Police report that both the victim and Towles stated that they got into an argument over the victim telling him he wasn’t working hard enough. The two employees then made their way into the back parking lot behind the shopping center. The victim told police that at this point, Towles said “I’m going to kill you.”
Towles then related that he took a pen from his sock and swung it at the victim. Police noted that the victim had an inch long, rather deep cut to the left side of his head behind his ear, mere inches from a major artery.
See, I don’t get this. You’re in a restaurant with knives, a scalding hot stove, and enough cholesterol to kill ten men, but you attack the guy with a sock pen? Come on, Anthony, be better.
The pen is mightier than the sword!
Somewhat cheaper, too. And if you wipe off your fingerprints, more disposable!
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Mike AKA Proof – I just assumed the guy would have grabbed a knife from the restaurant. It’s like the Austin Power line: “Really, who throws a shoe?”
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I guess he didn’t appreciate the critique of his deplorable work ethic. At least he won’t have to worry since he won’t be working for a while.
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He seems to work hard at stabbing people…
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I guess the victim got the point: never criticize a guy named Anthony in a town named Tyrone.
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“It’s literally a miracle no one has done this to Diego.”
No, Everyone knows they will get caught if they attack Diego, because the job will get assigned to a real detective.
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TXNick – The man doesn’t look like the friendly type.
RD – And since most of the squad hates Diego, no one would dare try.
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