A fifteen-year old British boy was rushed to the hospital after he used a USB cable to measure his penis. The boy apparently measured his Johnson by inserting the USB cable into his dickhole.
A UK teen had to undergo emergency surgery after a bananas attempt to measure his manhood resulted in him getting a USB cable lodged in his urethra.
The phallic fiasco reportedly began after an unnamed 15-year-old boy was “triggered by sexual curiosity” and inserted a USB wire into his urethra, per a wince-worthy study published in the medical journal Urology Case Reports.
Dude, you never, ever insert something into your dickhole… except maybe a Q-Tip.
The sexperiment backfired when the cable became lodged in the curious teen’s scrotum like an electronic catheter. Despite attempts to extract it himself, the USB cord became tangled so terribly that both ends were left hanging out of his wired willy.
Subsequent X-rays revealed that there was a veritable Gordian Knot of USB wire inside the teenager, which required surgeons to make an incision in the region between his genitals and anus to yank it out.
Oh no, they sliced his taint?!
They pulled the spooled end through the hole first, cutting it free from the rest of the wire before removing the remaining bits — literally pulling the plug.
I had no problem with reading this story until I got to “They pulled the spooled end through the hole first…” Yeah, that made me cross my legs.