True Detective Stories

Let me tell you about my Saturday.

Saturday was my last day before two glorious days off. As is the case with most days, we were terribly shorthanded. Two detectives took a vacation day, one detective is on military leave, and two other detectives were working one of these useless gun buy back programs. The only people in the building were myself, and three detectives.

The good news was Diego was one of the dolts working the gun buy back program, so at least I wouldn’t have to see, hear, or smell that fat bastard for one day.

In the first hour, we received two domestic assault arrests, a stolen gun report, and a missing person report for an elderly woman with dementia. So, four jobs slated for three detectives. Suffice to say, we were busy. One detective headed to the domestic arrest, one to the missing person, and the other interviewed the women who sold, er, “lost” her gun.

By the second hour, I was telling supervisors and officers they would be waiting at least an hour for us to respond to other incidents. When they became indignant, I continued to reply with, “I cannot send you detectives I do not have. When one is available, we’ll send them out.”

So everyone is running themselves ragged; working cases, taking interviews, etc. Shortly after 9am, Diego slithers into the division. I look at him and ask, “What are you doing here? Don’t you have the gun buy back program today?”

This morbidly obese gelatinous blob replies, “Oh, that doesn’t start until 10am.”

I lost my mind. “You knew we were shorthanded, and you sat home for two hours instead of coming and helping out? Are you f**king kidding me?!!”

Diego looks at me, dumbfounded. “I mean, the detail starts at ten, so…”

I cannot adequately describe how much I despise this person.

1.138 days…

8 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. I stepped on a wasp nest and spent my weekend icing my toes/foot/leg and taking ALL THE DRUGS. I think your weekend sounds even more painful though. Wow.


  2. Ronni – More or less. The buy back was from 10am to 2pm. I guess he thought those were his hours as the rest of us were getting slaughtered with jobs.

    Cathy – When he was calling in the guns to get them run through the stolen file, he mixed up serial numbers, makes and models. My guess is he was watching college football on his phone and got everything mixed up.

    Jenn – The head stitches don’t hurt as much, but yesterday I was walking and tripped, falling on my face. I’ve had a headache since Saturday afternoon with no end on sight. I think your plight is worse, though.


  3. Have you hung up a poster board with a countdown yet? One of my co-workers did that & the people around him were ready to kill him. I wasn’t, though, I think he’s related to Diego somehow & was absolutely worthless as an eligibility worker (doing some dumb things like telling a recipient to come in the next day to get his check, then not completing the paperwork so the check would issue, then not coming in the next day so the other workers get stuck with a pissed off client).


  4. MelP – I haven’t, because it’s still three years away. I check once a week to see where I’m at, but the captain – who is also in the DROP – says the first two years are awful, but the second two fly by.


  5. RD – The other one was in the division. The city holds these programs in other buildings, because they think people won’t come to a police station. The places they choose either don’t have computers, or have them that are not connected to our network, so someone has to recover the guns and another one needs to run them through the system.


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