True Detective Stories

You’re all likely bored with these True Detective Stories, but I thought this specific post was worth the trouble, since it sheds some light on the people who surround me every day.

It was late in the tour Wednesday morning when a police lieutenant called the division and stated one of his top-notch officers was assaulted. The offender was a junkie and a known 302 (aka a mental case) who was walking the streets naked and screaming at random bystanders.

Before you ask, no she was not remotely hittable.

The woman went postal when the officer approached her, and the officer claimed he was “scratched” on his neck and arms, despite the fact our supervisor saw no such marks. (Now, for the record, I would never write an assault on police report if I was scratched, especially if there were no visible marks. But hey, it’s the new police department.) Further, the woman was carrying a belt, and smashed the police cruiser’s windshield with the buckle, as the officer apparently sat there and did nothing…

Since the department is crumbling around itself, it was easy to predict the chain of events which were about to occur. The officer who was assaulted arrived at the division fairly quickly, but he did not have the report with him, claiming other officers were writing that up. The other officers went to their district to write the report, because apparently it is impossible to complete a police report outside your district… or something.

So, the assigned detective had no report, no report number, and no information which would lead to good questions. The report eventually came in more than an hour after the victim arrived. The detective started the interview, and halfway through asked, “Do you have the belt or do the other officers have it?”

*blank stares*

So these dullards knew the woman shattered the windshield of a patrol cruiser, and not one of them thought it prudent to recover the evidence? Are you kidding me?

So we had to send the morons out to the scene and hope the belt was still there. Thankfully it was, but who knew who or what touched it, plus the entire chain of custody was irreparably ruined, but hey the cop locked up a mental case, so I guess that’s a win??

8 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. Sounds like more than one person has mental issues. (or at least memory issues if you can’t remember to collect evidence). Keep counting down, buddy!


  2. It dawned on me that these folks are likely the next generation to make the cop to politician leap and they’ll be running your city soon. It’s good to know things will be in the right hands. Who knows, maybe they’ll be the next Frank Rizzo.


  3. Ronni – The department will worry more about the car than the cop, so you’d think the officer would have the smarts to realize to recover the weapon.

    TXNick – Probably should have. The detective who got the job was very cross at me, and I told her I would buy her lunch. She got it with a half hour left in the shift, but the bosses told me to assign it.

    Cathy – I’m guessing close proximity to him makes people stupid, which is why there are so many spelling errors in my posts now.

    RG – Rizzo was an icon, and rightly so. You so much as spit on the sidewalk, you were arrested. Now, no one spits on the sidewalk; they spit on passersby.


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