Rectum? I Hardly Know ‘Im!

A man was transported to the hospital after he allegedly slipped and fell onto a World Was II anti-tank shell. The shell was lodged into the man’s, well, read on.

Army bomb squad technicians were sent to a hospital after a man arrived with a WWII anti-tank shell lodged into his rectum. Medics called for specialist support after the man presented in the Accident and Emergency unit of Gloucestershire Royal Hospital in Gloucester when he could not remove the 57mm shell.

The military collector claimed he armour-piercing munition was from his private arsenal. He told medics the 80-year-old explosive device became lodged after he tripped and fell awkwardly.

Now I’m no detective, but I can guarantee this story is complete and utter bullshit. The chances of someone falling, landing directly onto the tip of the shell, it piercing his pants and underwear, and lodging it into his ass is literally – LITERALLY – impossible.

A source told The Sun: ‘The guy said he found the shell when he was having a clear out of his stuff.

‘He said he put it on the floor then he slipped and fell on it — and it went up his a***.

Look, no one wants to admit they did something stupid, and they certainly don’t want to admit they did something dangerous, but this guy is lying his ass off. I sincerely hope the hospital staff realize that.

Many thanks to Mis. Hum. at AOSHQ for an ONT linkage.