True Detective Stories

There is a much more entertaining True Detective Stories coming up later today, but this tale of woe needed to take precedence.

I walked into work at 6:30am on Sunday, started entering Saturday’s late jobs, and smiled that there were only three jobs to assign. It was going to be a very good day.

While searching through the unassigned jobs queue, I saw a report from the worst district in the division. They cops who work in this particular district are the worst of the worst. They tape phone conversations when they call the division – a felony in Pennsylvania – they call us and ask stupid questions they should be asking their supervisor, and they take hours to bring in priority reports.

The report I spied was a firearms arrest. This is a priority job, and it needs to be brought to us expeditiously because we need to run a gun trace, swab the firearm for DNA, and obtain a search warrant for the swab. What used to be a one hour arrest is not a three-hour chore…

The idiot who wrote up this report did so at 2:42am, when the overnight shift was working. The jackass brought the report to us at 10:15am, seven and a half hours after the arrest. Suffice to say, the lackadaisical attitude doesn’t do us any favors.

For example, the offender was arrested after he was involved in an auto accident. The offender was transported to the hospital for treatment, and instead of having the arresting officer come here so we could process the arrest, the district had him sit with the offender for nearly eight hours. Some other important issues also popped up, which put the dumbass officer in a pretty terrible light.

The firearm was originally recovered by the medic unit who responded to the scene. Since they officially recovered the pistol, they needed to be interviewed. Unfortunately, their shift was over at 6am, and they were nowhere to be found. The cop didn’t bother to have them come to the division for a ten-minute interview, and that’s going to be a problem during the preliminary hearing.

Similarly, the arresting officer had the gun in his possession for nearly eight hours. Instead of protecting the evidence, he sat in a hospital all day when we could have swabbed the gun for DNA. How are we supposed claim chain of custody when we have no idea where specifically the gun was being stored?

Finally, when the officer arrived – he has exactly one year on the job – he decided to give me attitude when I asked him why it took eight hours to bring up the job. The kid actually had the balls to say, “Man, I just wanna go home at this point.” As if WE were the ones keeping him here all day.

If I’m going to be completely honest, I try to be helpful with most cops. There are some I cannot stand, but for the most part, I try not to be a dick. Officers like this one don’t get the benefit of the doubt anymore, because honestly, it doesn’t seem like we’re on the same side.

5 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. RD – More or less. The Red Menace (as described in the other TDS today) is her college friend’s younger sister. Salma Hayek’s husband is a sergeant in the department and he is a giant of a man. He would crush me with his pinky.


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