True Detective Stories

So last night was my final day of work in 2021. Christmas vacation begins today, which is great because last night sucked copious amounts of ass.

The day began when an off-duty supervisor decided to drive around the division looking for crimes to solve. Mind you, this dolt was on his day off, but he’s one of those super cops who thinks he’s going to save the world. He was investigating the theft of an ATM from the previous evening, and decided he found one of the people responsible for the theft. There was actually no evidence of this, but hey, since he’s a boss he could just send them to us.

Last night we had five detectives on the floor. Before this supervisor’s shenanigans, we already had a firearms arrest, a domestic assault where a pistol was involved, a stolen gun report, and a commercial robbery. The supervisor wanted us to drop all these actual jobs, and work solely on his nonsense. Thankfully, we avoided that, and one of the detectives interviewed this woman.

After a quick interview, we left the woman in the interrogation room as we waited for the officers to take her back downstairs. When the detective opened the door, the woman had her pants around her ankles, and she urinated all over the floor. While the other detectives were screaming at her for being an animal, my job was to break out the mop.

I mean, if you haven’t mopped up adult urine, have you ever really lived?

In the meantime, Diego the Idiot Detective had the gun-pointing domestic assault. Instead of taking the interview and helping us with the dozens of real jobs we had piling up, he spent his entire evening working on this one insignificant assignment. There wasn’t even any proof there was a gun involved; it was all hearsay. But hey, Diego gonna Diego.

The rest of the evening was a blur. We handled two more firearms arrests, a stolen U-Haul truck which was filled with dozens of computers, a couple domestic incidents and a robbery or two. Most of which were from one district – the worst district in the city – and the district with the dumbest police officers by far. Most of these clowns make Diego look like a MENSA candidate.

Oh well, at least the next two weeks will be fun. No idiot cops, no stupid phone questions, and no Diego.

8 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. Kitty – We went through the gifts and Kyle and Erik are a bit short, so I’ll be headed to the mall tomorrow to hopefully finish everything for Christmas. It will bee very nice to be away from work for two weeks, though. I sincerely need the break.


  2. Believe me, all of us here know you really need the break, and deserve it, too. Go to the mall before the smash’n’grab gangs get there.


  3. As far as shopping: I am wondering about the outcome of the Officer Kim Potter Trial here in Minnesooota. The final arguments are on Monday, and my guess is the verdict comes back on Wednesday. That means there will likely be only two after verdict looting days until Christmas.

    I actually saw the still animated dessicated corpse of Nancy Pelosi condemn all the looting and stealing in San Francisco this week. London Breed, the mayor of that shl+hole did the same. I think a few of their big donors got scared and maybe roughed up when the mobs of looters hit Walnut Creek and the other high end shopping spots? Maybe they finally realized the criminals are not going to stay in their neighborhoods preying on the poor Blacks, Whites, and Asians? Entitled Silicon(e) Valley Democrat Karen is not happy. Those icky criminals should respect their betters and know their place!


  4. RD – I think she’s toast, only because she’s white and the trial is in Minnesota.

    As far as San Francisco, I think the only reason they “care” is because even the uber-leftists there are getting sick of the thefts and violence.


  5. The mop story alone gives one pause that perhaps a vaccine isn’t such a bad thing. Mostly a vaccine against humanity as a whole.


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