Acting! Genius! Thank You!

So we spent Christmas Eve Mass at our parish this year because my brother-in-law’s family was fighting off a cold. We usually go to their church in Abington, but this year the family and my mother-in-law went to BVM. Well, we were kind of forced to go because Princess P was performing in the Christmas Eve Tableau.

Julia was in inkeeper – holding the “No Vacancy” sign above – as the readers told the story of Christmas. She did a good job, but she was also stuck on the cold steps of the altar for a while, and said afterward it was really uncomfortable.

Our pastor is great with Mass – we’re usually in and out in thirty minutes or your communion is free. The mass began at 4pm and we were out before 5pm. How he pulled that off with the mass, the tableau, and everything else is beyond me, but it was a heartfelt, yet quick service.

The last time we went to our church for Christmas Eve, there was a brawl. Two idiot parents had a fistfight at the end of mass, with them both toppling over the pew. It was nice to see the lack of fisticuffs this year. It would have been impolite for me to shoot people in church.

12 thoughts on “Acting! Genius! Thank You!

  1. Amusing post, reminding me of my late uncle, Fr. Charles McBennett, a former missionary to China during the Mao revolution, and who was imprisoned by the Reds for 8 years. After release, he was allowed to return to St. Patrick’s in his hometown of Fayetteville, N.C., and said Mass in 15 minutes, in Latin, with communion, in a school auditorium that had no air conditioning, and got up over 100 degrees in the summer…people would be fainting in droves…everyone loved it when he said Mass, ’cause it was over so quickly….

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  2. Doc – Yeah, our pastor is great, and Mrs. Earp is sure he just skips sections of the Mass. The other issue I didn’t mention was there was seating for parents of the actors. My family sat in one of the rows, and some older douche behind me said, “They’re going to make you leave.” He kept saying it to his wife, and I kept wanting to turn around and punch him in the face. He was still saying it to people after Mass, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him my daughter was front row center.

    Imagine being such a Karen on Christmas Eve.

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  3. It would have been impolite for me to shoot people in church.
    Sometimes that would be the most polite thing you could do.

    I wish I had met your priest when I was younger, we always had long-winded fellows. An hour at a minimum.
    My first Protestant wedding was a shock. “That’s it? We’re done?”

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  4. Veeshir – The priest who married us was infamous for super quick masses. He blew through our wedding like he wanted to watch a baseball game. Afterward, he asked my mother-in-law – who lives next to the church – “Was it long enough?”

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  5. Grandson #1 attends Christmas Eve Mass with me each year, the only time he goes to Mass all year. St. Mary’s was full. Grandson left St. Mary’s and went to Hope Church where his 5-y-o sister was playing Mary in their Christmas play. Twenty years ago my daughter played Mary and held the Baby Jesus, play by 4-month-old Grandson #1. Tradition!

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  6. Mike AKA Proof – Where were you with this idea on Christmas Eve?

    Digger – The first time we did midnight mass at our church – right after we were married – I had to be in work at 2am. We left right after communion or I would have been late. I mean a two hour mass? No thank you.

    Kitty – Erik was in the tableau when he was in sixth(?) grade. He was a trumpeter with his classmate.

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    1. I’m retired now, but with the academy, med school and conferences, I’ve heard just about everything, including 50 years of sermons. If you can’t get it said in 20 minutes, 40 isn’t going to help. my sitting and listening muscles are just worn out..

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