Meet Brandon Cihak of Mankato, Minnesota. Brandon was stopped by police recently, and during a search, police found methamphetamine inside his sweatpants. This may shock you, but Brandon declared, “They’re not mine!”
After police found a bag of methamphetamine in his pocket, the 37-year-old Minnesotan disavowed ownership of the drug, claiming that the sweatpants he was wearing were not his own.
Cihak, who had been searched following a traffic stop Wednesday morning in Mankato, “attempted to blame the methamphetamine on another individual,” Officer Eric Lopez noted in a probable cause statement. Cihak, Lopez added, “stated he was wearing the other individual’s pants.”
But the 5’11” Cihak’s bid to pin the drug rap on the unnamed fall guy/gal did not sway Lopez, who reported that “Cihak is substantially taller than the individual he claimed to be the owner of the pants.” The purported trouser owner is “only 4 feet, 1 inch tall,” according to Lopez.
In fairness, the kids these days do roll up their sweatpants. I doubt they would roll them up nearly two feet, but nice try, Brandon.
The O.K. Corral 
He shoulda said, “Let go Brandon!”
If the cops had a sense of humor they mighta done just that.
Sometimes I wish mine name was Brandon.
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When he shaved his head, he cut off all that protective covering that keeps the CIA from getting to your brain!
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