True Detective Stories

Yesterday began another tour of night work. Night work is fabulous because 1. I don’t have to wake up at 5:30am, and 2. I can get away from my rotten kids.

Sadly, it’s not all smiles and sunshine. I know I put up these posts almost every first day back, but this one bears repeating. When I walked into the division and approached my desk, there were four active assignments waiting for me. The day shift got crushed and they left us a carjacking, a domestic robbery, a theft arrest, and an assault on police case. This wouldn’t be such a bother if I had detectives on the early end. The Red Menace and Napoleon took a vacation day, and the only decent detectives were Captain Rogers and Salma Hayek. We also had Diego.

Diego got the carjacking, Salma got the theft arrest, and Captain Rogers got a stolen car report. The domestic robbery and the assault on police were put on hold.

While I waited for the late end to come in, I looked in our mailbox. There were just under thirty unassigned jobs in the box, because my coworkers refuse to enter jobs when I am not working. It took me three and a half hours to enter and assign all the jobs – it turned out to be twenty-nine of them – before I could even begin to tackle the current day’s jobs. I got it done, and the supervisor said I could hold some for the next day, but I wanted these jobs out of my queue…

At about 6:45pm, I was able to quickly scarf down my lunch. Immediately after that, a gun arrest came in, and while I promised myself Diego would not get jobs that make him money, I had to give it to him, because the good detectives were busy.

The moron cops who brought in this gun arrest did so they day after the city effectively banned car stops. The mayor claims you cannot stop cars for minor infractions, but I had a strong feeling these clowns did exactly that. I suggested to these dolts that locking people up for guns will get you in trouble. The younger cop snottily replied, “We got the gun, didn’t we?”

As I was already perturbed, I figured I might as well level with them.

“Look, I’m all for you guys making gun pinches. Truly. Get as many guns as you can by any means necessary. You guys may not have read the Inquirer article, but there are close to fifty police officers downtown on limited duty because of the manner in which they made these arrests. Every one of those cops lost their guns, and are being investigated by our cop-hating District Attorney. Also, there was a guy from the 666 District who was making gun pinches almost every night. I told him what I told you, and guess what? He lost his gun and he’s off the street. But hey, you news guys know more than I do. Good luck.”

2 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. Eventually, Phillys gonna get what it deserves, good & hard…with no vaseline to make things easier. It’s going to look like that scene out of Robocop where all the cops are out on strike & the criminals are having a block party.


  2. MelP – We’re pretty much there now. 88 murders already – and it’s cold outside. We’re at 6% over this time last year. May see 600 homicides by year’s end, and no one in power gives a shite.


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