Avoid High Gas Prices Forever!

So I was scouring the interwebz, when I saw this article, and immediately I knew I had to post about it. Thanks to F**k Joe Biden, gas prices are through the roof, which means brilliant Americans are finding ways to get around the staggering gas numbers.

They’re doing this by pouring soda into their gas tanks.

I have to say, filling a tank as Twitter user @spaceeong suggests doesn’t sound like a terrible idea. That McDonald’s Sprite is crisp in a way that’s uncommon to fountain drinks, and the first sip contains such power that the internet has been asking for years how McDonald’s does it. Though McDonald’s has offered some explanations as to why its fountain drinks taste better (wider straws and better temp control), we have all come to the consensus that McDonald’s soda is just built different, whether by science or some other power.

This may shock you, but some dolt on Twitter thinks soda will power your vehicle.

Surprisingly, it’s not the sugar in soda that will prevent your car from making it down the street with a tank full of Sprite. Snopes previously debunked the myth that putting sugar in someone’s gas tank will ruin the car’s engine. As cars tend to have filtration systems in place, it’s unlikely that even a heavy amount of sugar would reach the engine. Instead, the car’s fuel filter would become clogged and would cause it to stop working.

The main issue with filling your gas tank with soda is that it’s a foreign substance. The gas tank is a gas tank for a reason. Your car’s engine and fuel system were not meant to process a carbonated, syrupy beverage, no matter how refreshing it is.

Honestly, this is the best of both worlds. The moron’s car will sputter and stop – hopefully in the desert – and said moron will drink the soda/gas combination. Darwin nods aprovingly.

4 thoughts on “Avoid High Gas Prices Forever!

  1. Any small amount of sugar that gets into the combustion chamber will only partially burn, leaving a gummy carbon residue which builds up until the engine seizes. A complete disassembly and cleaning of the engine, plus a complete flushing of the fuel system will be required before the vehicle will run properly again.

    (From observations of a testoserone-fueled rivalry made back in my youth. No, I wasn’t one of the participants. Just an amused observer.)

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  2. At this point, if Snopes says it’s not true, you can pretty much tell they are lying. Thata said, anyone that puts sugar in their engine deserves the result. Tell them that jamming up the tail pipe with a grapefruit will give the car more power too. Let’s go all the way. As a matter of fact Let’s Go Brandon!!

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