Florida Man Makes One Hell Of A Meth

Meet Thomas Eugene Colucci of Spring Hill, Flori-Duh.

Thomas was worried about the authenticity of his recently-purchased methamphetamine, so he called a professional to his home to see if the meth was legitimate.

Hernando County Sheriff’s deputies were dispatched to 1463 Mariner Boulevard in Spring Hill Thursday afternoon after a resident in the home called 9-1-1 to request that a deputy be dispatched to “test the methamphetamine” he had recently purchased.

Wow, and I thought Philly criminals were stupid.

Upon arrival, deputies met with Thomas Eugene Colucci. Colucci told deputies he had recently purchased methamphetamine from a male he met in a local bar, and after having used a bit of it, believed it was actually bath salts.

Colucci went on to tell deputies he was an experienced drug user, having used methamphetamine in the past, and “knew what it should feel like.” Colucci produced two small baggies, each containing a white crystal-like substance, and handed them over to the deputy. The substance Colucci had recently purchased did not provide the expected sensation, hence the call to 9-1-1. (H/T – Al)

The officer then tested the drugs, and declared, “That’s good sh*t.” Okay, not really. The deputy arrested Colucci and dragged him off to jail.

8 thoughts on “Florida Man Makes One Hell Of A Meth

  1. It appears that you may want to consider the entire State of Floriduh as one of your potential retirement locations. Who wouldn’t want to live among the most intelligent in our society?


  2. Isn’t there some kind of award for this level of stupidity?? If not, I suggest we start one and name it the “Brandons” and then see if anyone outside of Floriduh can compete…And we have our first nominee…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I used to live in Apache Junction, AZ. It’s known for coyotes, snowbirds from October/November to April, and tweakers. I never used the word “tweaker” until I moved there.
    Tweakers call the cops all the time. Half the time, they end up getting arrested by the responding officer. It’s perverse.
    No other drug users want to see the police.


    1. One of my oldest, best friends lives in Oro Valley. He says they’re plentiful there. This particular guy hasn’t gotten to meth face yet, but it’s coming.


  4. Never heard the term “tweaker” until I did some locus tenens in upper East Tennessee, then I find that 50% of the patients, and 40% of the OB patients were addicts on suboxone or methadone…and almost every patient admitted to using recreational drugs…an eye-opening experience….


    1. Kensington Avenue in Philly – where I worked for the first six years of my career – is like that. It’s Zombieland. They walk up and down the avenue, high on meth, heroin or crack. Used to be a good neighborhood in the 70’s, but now it’s one of the worst shite holes you would ever see.


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