Florida Man Really Hates Brandon

Meet Jacob Ryan Philbeck of Palm Harbor, Flori-Duh.

Jacob is not your average Florida Man. Instead of pouring urine on someone’s lawn, or running around naked with fireworks in his pants, Jacob went above and beyond… by demanding F. Joe Biden be arrested and drug kingpin El Chapo be released.

Hmm, I wonder if Jacob has a newsletter?

The 29-year-old made a series of 911 calls early yesterday to inform police dispatchers that President Joe Biden should be jailed, while convicted drug lord Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán should be freed from custody.

Now, I don’t necessarily want to be “that guy,” but even a cursory glance at the Biden Crime Family’s corruption and ill-gotten monetary gains should at the very least should raise eyebrows.

Of course, the suggestion El Chapo should be freed is idiotic, even for Florida Man.

In response to that legal advice–offered in three separate predawn calls–Philbeck was arrested for misuse of the 911 system, a misdemeanor.

Dialing from an apartment in Palm Harbor, a Tampa suburb, Philbeck was initially informed that “the information he was providing was a non-emergency situation.” Philbeck was also warned not to use the 911 system in such a manner.

Wait a minute. You mean I can start arresting all the morons who call the division day and night with their stupid questions? I’m going to need to purchase a few more sets of handcuffs.

5 thoughts on “Florida Man Really Hates Brandon

  1. Rudy – It doesn’t appear that he thought things out with a rational mind.

    Veeshir – Remember the war on drugs? Billions of dollars wasted, and drugs are so prominent in this country now, the leftist politicians are effectively legalizing them.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s