We’re Going To Lose A Major War

A (now former) captain in the Louisiana National Guard was allowed “to retire” after he was court-martialed after allegedly “motorboating” a female subordinate after her promotion ceremony.

For the record, I cannot make judgment until I see what the victim looks like. Kidding, kidding.

A former Louisiana National Guard officer was allowed to retire after a general court-martial convicted him of charges stemming from “motorboating” a subordinate soldier during an informal promotion ceremony while deployed to Jordan in May 2021, Army Times has confirmed.

Capt. Billy Joe Crosby Jr., a logistics officer who was overseas with the 256th Infantry Brigade Combat Team during its recent deployment, was initially charged with abusive sexual contact and conduct unbecoming an officer. Crosby was the officer-in-charge of an outpost in Jordan.

The dude’s name is Billy Joe Crosby, Jr? Wow, it doesn’t get more Louisiana than that.

Maj. Jessica Rovero, a spokesperson for the command overseeing the trial, told Army Times in a statement that Crosby’s “behavior is not in line with the Army values.”

Wow, that’s rich. Is Rovero speaking about how transvestites are being celebrated in the armed forces? Is she talking about all those soldiers the army dismissed when they refused to take the jab? Are those the “Army values” you are promoting?