True Detective Stories

While Diego is a connoisseur of all things food – and it shows – he rarely ever brings in food for the squad. Most of us bring in foodstuffs at one time or another – Salma Hayek LOVES Mrs. Earp’s brownies – but Diego usually eats instead of brings.

That all changed on Wednesday, our first day back on night work.

Diego walks in with a giant tray of pretzel bites from the Philly Soft Pretzel Company. Their soft pretzels are to die for, so everyone was excited. I was busy early on, so I walked to the kitchen an hour or so after dummy brought in the food. This is what it looked like…

You may not be able to tell, but the pretzel bites were stale, and all the salt was melted off. I’m ninety-percent sure he brought in day-old pretzels.

I mentioned this to Salma and the Red Menace, and they didn’t believe me. Both walked back to the kitchen, stared at the pretzels, and Salma said, “Eww.” By the end of the night, the only person who touched these things were Diego.

5 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. Back when I first started my career, one of the supervisors brought in some corn chips from Granny Goose. I tried one & promptly spit it out because it was rancid. She got all offended & refused to let anyone throw the bag away for a couple of weeks. If I’d been a little more with it, I would’ve brought in some trash bags & tossed a few every day until they were gone.


  2. MelP – Good plan. The people in my squad never brought anything this bad. Salma brings in some really spices dishes, but it was always good. No one bothered to ask Diego about where he got the pretzels, because no one wanted to know.


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