The Beer Baron

A Seattle man was arrested after he attempted to steal eleven cases of beer from the Safeway. You’d think it would be easier to make two trips of five cases, but whatever.

A man was arrested Monday after attempting to shoplift 11 cases of beer from Safeway, according to the Seattle Police Department.

According to the report, the man loaded 11 cases of beer onto his cart and attempted to leave the store. A security guard confronted the man, but the man told the guard if he didn’t get by, the guard would be pepper-sprayed.

The good news is the thief had a failsafe exit strategy.

When officers arrived, they found the man across the street attempting to get on a Metro bus.

Next time, spend the money for an Uber, dumbass. By the way, any bets on what kind of beer this dope stole? I cannot imagine it was Stella Artois.

4 thoughts on “The Beer Baron

  1. I didn’t realize theft was actually a crime in Seattle. Learn something new every day. Who’d have ever guessed such a thing was actually illegal. I’m curious where they found any cops to actually make the arrest. I thought they’d all been defunded.

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  2. Ronni – Philadelphia is the Twisted Tea capital of the country. Gawd, I hate that stuff.

    RG – Safeway is probably a company in good standing, so maybe they actually get police there?

    Cathy – Kyle loves, loves, loves Labatt’s Blue. Cannot get enough of it. I usually drink Guinness, Smithwicks, or the occasional Sam Adams.

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