True Detective Stories

So today has been a joy.

We have three detectives, because the other three are in court, two are on vacation, and one has Covid… again. As of 10am, I have entered twenty-four jobs, answered I don’t know how many stupid phone calls, and pushed away a stupid cop for being stupid.

At about 7am, the teletype started pumping out court notices, and it literally hasn’t stopped – as of 11am. My supervisor is also on vacation, so I have to effectively run the squad. It also means I need to collect the court notices, get them stapled, and give them out to the pertinent detectives.

It should not come as a surprise that I despise our Assistant District Attorneys, because they do this shite every weekday morning. I wouldn’t cross the street to spit on them.

A little later on, one of the munchkin cops – who, by the way, is universally hated – called the division and said he found a car which was was shot five times. There were no shell casings at the scene, no blood, and no reports of gunshots in the area. I told Dicknuts that he needs to find the owner of the vehicle to see if the shooting happened at a different location, since it obviously did not happen in our division.

Dicknuts said, “Well, you still need to come out and process the scene.” Hmm, we’re making demands are we? I responded with, “Since we don’t know where the shooting occurred, we don’t know if it happened here. So… find the owner and call us back.”

Dicknuts still wasn’t getting it, and again demanded we send someone out to the scene. I told him since we have three detectives today, and two of them are working robberies, and the other is working a commercial burglary, it’ll be a while. So just sit there until we arrive.

I didn’t tell him it would be an hour or two… at best.

I don’t know when it happened, but in the last few years, the cops in this city started thinking we work for them, and not the other way around. Making ridiculous demands, asking for their preferred detective, or just coming to the division and sitting at a desk while watching television.

Those same people are the ones who will always get Diego the Idiot Detective for every one of their jobs.

Oh, by the way, Dicknuts called before the detective went out and said the Shooting Incident Unit already processed the vehicle. It’s almost as if I told him to do that at the beginning.

7 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

    1. It is definitely different from the Philadelphia PD portrayed in WEB Griffin’s novels.

      I wonder what Mayor Frank Rizzo would say if he saw his beloved PD today?

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Mike AKA Proof – Way ahead of you. Have all of them since I started in 2006.

    RD – He would be embarrassed.

    Also I apologize for the lame posts this week. Work has been awful and I’ve been stressed out.


    1. Good. About a month before your last day, bundle together a few of your best ones and start floating them out to publishers. The process will take a while, and they may want you , or them, to do a little editing, so get a head start on it!

      Liked by 1 person

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