Meet Brandon Wright of DeLand. Florida. Wright is the guy without clothing, eating palmettto berries, and carrying a machete. Ya can’t miss him.
A naked Florida man who was armed with a machete when he allegedly tried to steal another man’s clothes was arrested Monday morning at a DeLand gas station, according to the Volusia Sheriff’s Office.
Shortly before 10 a.m., deputies arrived to an area near the Volusia County Fairgrounds after a surveyor working in the area said the suspect – later identified as 34-year-old Brandon Wright – was picking palmetto berries in the woods, and suddenly approached him with a large machete-style knife and demanded his clothes, wallet and phone.
You’d think would demand the victim’s car before the clothes.
When the surveyor began to comply with Wright’s demands, Wright reportedly threw the machete at him, along with a handful of palmetto berries, before taking off into the brush and then into a white Dodge Challenger. Deputies said the handle of the machete bounced off the surveyor’s chest, leaving him uninjured.
I mean, if nothing else, Wright is definitely ripped… for a naked guy.
See? That’s how the Florida man story perpetuates! Naked man with machete demands your clothes. No longer naked man gives you his machete, now YOU are naked man with machete! And what do you need? Clothes! This could go on forever!
LikeLike
Bat-shit crazy with a nice bod.
LikeLike
Please, Alfie! You’re talking about my last three girlfriends!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Bat-shit crazy comes in male & female.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mike AKA Proof – Surprised he didn’t say, ” Your clothes, give them to me now ”
Cathy – I could kick his ass.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They aren’t building T-800s like they used to.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Inflation made sure of that.
LikeLiked by 1 person