True Detective Stories

Today’s episodes of True Detective Stories are fairly long, but I needed to vent about two terrible, idiotic, clueless employees in my department. I’ll begin with the bigger idiot, then pivot to a clueless district captain.

Part 1. You may remember Fat Albert, a “detective” in name only, who has spent his eighteen years in our division worming out of work. He is a useless piece of detritus who purposefully screws up jobs so another detective will be assigned his cases. The man is morbidly obese, is battling diabetes, and still eats donuts and snacks all day long.

Any hoo, Fat Albert’s diabetes got the best of him, and he lost a few toes. As a result, he needs to be medically cleared to come back to work, and instead of heading to the Medical Office, he just stopped coming to work. Fat Albert hasn’t been to work in about three months, wasting all his sick time. Until Wednesday.

Fat Albert waddled into the division, walked to his desk, and went on his computer. I mentioned to him that he was not allowed in the division, because he has not been cleared. He ignored me. I checked on him every half hour, and when I walked past him, he wasn’t working on cases, he was watching YouTube…

You see, Fat Albert isn’t getting paid, because he has not been cleared. After a few months, I assume his electricity was canceled. That’s where the story gets weird.

I was walking to the kitchen to get a drink, and Fat Albert was bending down in the refrigerator. It appeared he was searching through other people’s food. I said, “What are you doing?” and he immediately moved out of the fridge and went back to his desk.

A half hour later, I was headed to the restroom, and there he was – again – opening the mini fridge where you can purchase drinks. I walked past the kitchen, and when he heard me, he slammed the door closed and walked away. I cannot 100% prove it, but I am certain Fat Albert was swiping food from the fridge and drinks from the mini.

Shortly after the second time I caught him, he left the building. And yes, I did tell the supervisor, so hopefully something will be done.

Part 2. Yesterday, a police officer in my division was convicted of manslaughter after he shot a male in the head. The victim was thought to be someone who was involved in a homicide, and during the scuffle, the officer shot and killed the man. It was horrible for everyone involved, but that’s not the story.

The story is the female captain who runs the district where the officer was convicted decided to stop by the district to address the troops. Instead of telling the officers that yes, the conviction is hard on everyone, and yes, so is death of the victim, we need to carry on and stay professional, this clueless captain took another path.

Instead of consoling the troops or propping up morale, this stupid bint spent all her time telling the officers they need to get more activity. Traffic tickets, parking tickets, curfews, car stops, and the like. She then, amazingly, told the officers how great a cop she was when in patrol, despite the fact she was a school beat, and spent most of her career dealing with children.

The woman actually said, “Look me up on Google,” as if she was awarded the Medal of Honor. So yeah, ignore another fellow officer heading to jail. Instead, go out and write some parking tickets. That’ll make you fell better!

This department is an absolute joke.

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10 thoughts on “True Detective Stories

  1. Ronni – It has been like this since the Floyd riots. Crime doesn’t seem to be an issue, but diversity and inclusion seems to be our purpose now.

    Rudy – I don’t want to stay in Pennsylvania, but there aren’t a lot of places I want to go. Besides, they was the country is dissolving, there eventually may not be anywhere to go.

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  2. Do you ever get any blowback from your truth speaking? Just keep your head down, and document your discussions with higher ups…would hate to see you suffer for the gang of fool’s behavior…Middle TN isn’t so bad, and Father Ryan HS wouldn’t be a bad school for the princess…

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  3. Doc – I have the most seniority in my squad, and my lieutenant knows how hard I work, so I get a lot of leeway. Plus, I’m in the DROP program, and if worse came to worse, I could just leave.

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    1. He was great for sleeping at work. Lounges back in his chair and snored rather loudly. He is arguably the worst cop/detective I have ever had the displeasure to work with. Just a complete imbecile.

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  4. Wyatt, I kinda hate that I found your blog. Every story about your department depresses the hell out of me — I can’t imagine what actually living it must be like. I will celebrate the day you retire (from the force, not this blog).

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    1. Sharksauce – I still like the job, but we’re overwhelmed. The Soros D.A. lets shooters go back on the streets with no bail, the ADAs send us Must Be Tried court notices which are rarely MBT, because if the detectives and cops are all stuck in court, we can’t respond to 911 calls, and for the most part, the entire department just said, “Yeah, I’ll do the bare minimum.”

      BTW, you really won’t like the post I have for tomorrow at 10am.

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