Meet Patrick Abbott of South Florida.
Patrick is trying to make some money for himself, but instead of applying for a job, he decided to rob a Publix supermarket.
A South Florida man arrested for child abuse, accused of dropping a baby at a Walmart, is back in jail for a different crime. On Saturday 31-year-old Patrick Abbott faced a judge on armed robbery charges.
Police say last week Abbott handed a Publix worker a note written on a receipt demanding money, claiming he had a gun. The note read, “read carefully. I have a gun with me and put the money in the bag.”
Honestly, who robs a supermarket? Most of the real money is placed into the safe, and the managers usually take the money when the registers get full. I mean, is this guy that stupid?
The answer is yes.
Police said he was identified by the victim and taken into custody. The gun he claimed to have turned out to be a black stapler.
One wonders if this dolt even placed staples in the stapler. Those things can really hurt!
At least no one was hurt when this crime was committed. Going armed with a stapler. Hadn’t heard of that before.
LikeLike
They aren’t exactly honor roll recipients.
LikeLike
Don’tcha know, he wuz just a misunderstood valedictorian.
LikeLike
I have it on good authority that his mom is telling people he’s turning his life around. “He’s a good boy.”
LikeLike
Dude was just walking to church to drop off clothing for the needy.
LikeLike
The biggest question is… was it an assault stapler?
LikeLike
We must ban assault staplers! Now someone go find Milton, a.s.a.p.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I bet it wuz one a them high-capacity staplers with a clip that holds 20 magazines!
LikeLiked by 1 person
And a bayonet mount!
LikeLiked by 1 person
People wonder why we think no-bail policies are stupid and dangerous?
A criminal that only commits one single crime ever in his life is a unicorn.
LikeLike
He wanted money…with the current price of a dozen eggs he should have said put 12 dozen in a bag
LikeLike
Really! Grab a shopping cart, fill it with eggs and make a run for the parking lot! No felonies involved!
LikeLike
RD – 100% correct.
Gary – Egg prices are frickin’ ridiculous… like everything else thanks to F. Joe Biden.
LikeLike