Oakland Mayor Now Loves The Police

Uber-left Oakland mayor Libby Schaaf has decided she and her godawful city need more police, after being a huge proponent of defunding the police. Now Schaaf is worried no one would become a police officer in her failing, corrupt city.

Oakland Mayor Libby Schaaf (D) warned during a CNN interview on Monday that the far-left defund the police movement was hurting the abilities of cities to attract and retain police recruits which she says are badly needed to combat a surge in crime.

So this bitch ridiculed and derided members of her own police department during (and after) the Saint George Floyd riots, and she thinks the officers will start trusting her again? Good luck with that, Libby.

“Let me be clear: Oakland needs more police,” Schaaf said. “We have been impacted by staffing reductions. COVID interrupted our recruitment and training processes. And the defund rhetoric is challenging our ability to attract and retain recruits. And we know that that is not unique to Oakland.”

Dear Libby, not only do I hope no one joins your police department, but I also hope every single current police officer quits by the end of the year. Let your leftist friends police your city and see how that goes.

Welcome To Philadelphia

Philadelphia, one of the most violent, lawless cities in America, earned its 508th homicide Monday when a fourteen-year old buy was shot multiple times and killed in North Philly.

Police say a 14-year-old boy waiting for a SEPTA bus was shot nearly 20 times and killed in North Philadelphia Monday afternoon. Police identified the victim as Samir Jefferson.

Police say two men are now being questioned by detectives for this ambush murder in broad daylight.

What difference does it make? Larry Krasner, the Soros-appointed District Attorney, rarely prosecutes murderers. Actually, he rarely prosecutes anyone.

“A vehicle, maybe two, pull up. Two males get out and start shooting at him, chasing him,” Philadelphia Police Chief Inspector Scott Small said.

At least 35 shots were fired from two semi-automatic weapons. Bullet markers could be seen up and down the store wall and even inside a window covering.

Detectives believe the killing was targeted. Surveillance video and an eyewitness helped police track down two persons of interest a few miles away along Summerdale Avenue.

A fourteen-year old kid, dead probably because of something insipid of looking at the murderers the wrong way. This city is dying quickly, and most of the sheep here will still vote Democrat and still tolerate 500+ murders every year.

Uber Beats

Meet Michele Stillwell, a nurse – unbelievably – who spends her free time attracting patients for her to work on. In this case, she decided to choke an Uber driver for what appears to be no apparent reason.

A female passenger who choked and took a chomp out of the neck of an Uber driver today pleaded guilty to a pair of criminal charges in connection with the bloody, unprovoked attack.

Michele Stilwell copped to battery and disorderly conduct, misdemeanors for which she was sentenced to 18 months probation. Stilwell, a licensed practical nurse, was also fined $850, directed to undergo a mental health evaluation, and ordered to have no contact with Michael Hassey, the 23-year-old victim.

As reported in criminal complaints, Stilwell attacked Hassey from behind as he drove his Toyota near Stilwell’s St. Petersburg residence in mid-April.

Hard to believe someone from Florida would do such a thing…

While the car was moving, Stilwell “reached forward and proceeded to choke the victim from behind,” according to a sheriff’s deputy. As seen above, Stilwell initially choked Hassey with two hands before wrapping an arm around his throat.

As Hassey sought to pull over the car, Stilwell “managed to crawl forward onto the center console…and bite the victim deeply on the neck drawing blood.” She then scratched Hassey across the chest, “causing a large red in color mark with traces of blood visible.”

If there was any justice, Stilwell would walk across the street and get struck by an Uber driver.

A Tree Falls In Bridgend

A Welsh woman was in the process of closing The Star pub during a severe storm when she took a moment for a smoke break. That cigarette likely saved the woman’s life.

CCTV footage shows the moment a woman narrowly avoided being hit by a falling tree in a pub beer garden amid strong winds from Storm Arwen.

Cheryl Pound had the lucky escape while having a cigarette break after closing The Star pub in Bridgend where she works.

Footage from the pub, in Market Street, captured the moment the tree fell just feet away from her.

You can see the video at the link. It’s really crazy. I do, however, give Cheryl huge props for grabbing her beer as the tree fell.

True Detective Stories

Occasionally I start these True Detective Stories with something along the lines of, “This doesn’t mean to be a bitch post…”

This post is exclusively a bitch post, so if you don’t feel like reading it, that’s cool.

Yesterday ended my two weeks of night work. As one of the pretty police officers downstairs always says, “Last day, best day.” Sadly, yesterday was nothing of the sort. I walked into the division at 2:40pm, and the floor was a ghost town. There was one detective left from the early shift, which was odd because there are usually a handful of detectives at that time of day.

I didn’t lose my mind about the lack of manpower, because screw them; if they want to run a skeleton crew, that’s on them.

Sadly, it was on us.

My desk was covered with paperwork from the early shift, which usually gets placed into their inbox. The only time we have to handle jobs from a previous shift is when they are priorities. Unluckily for me and my squad, there were three robbery reports on the desk. One of which was taken at 12:25pm, which was two and a half hours before my shift began. Where the f**k were the detectives, and how can they get away with leaving us three robberies which occurred on a different shift?

Would You Like Cream In Your Coffee?

A British woman noticed something rather, um, “odd” with her Costa Coffee cup when she received her cup of joe. It appears the gingerbread man cup looks like he’s releasing some swimmers into the world.

A woman left people in stitches after discovering Costa Coffee cups that appeared to feature a rather rude detail.

Claire Fletcher had been watching Bake Off with her partner Trevor Brown when they paused the show on a Costa advert while he went to get a drink.

The pair were then left in stitches after noticing the coffee chain’s Christmas gingerbread cup at an awkward angle – making the sweet treat’s arm look like a penis. Even ruder – Claire claims the ‘s’ of the Costa logo makes it even more vulgar looking as it appears the gingerbread man was enjoying an explicit act.

I’m going to give Costa Coffee the benefit of the doubt here. Having said that, the gingerbread arm does look like a penis, and the squiggly “s” doesn’t do the gingerbread man any favors.

Caption Contest Winners

Top Five Entries:
5. Take the sticker. He won’t grope you if you wear the sticker! – RudyTBone
4. “Mom always said not to make goofy faces or your face would freeze.” – TXNick
3. Thank you for signing the “I Won’t Sue Gropy McGropy Hands” pledge card. – Jim
2. I would rather have a barf bag. – Mis. Hum.

WINNER! – Here you go. I know they look like $20 bills, but thanks to my husband they are only worth $15. – Ingineer66

Merry Creepmas!

Meet Woody, a Canadian department store Christmas tree which resurfaced after fifteen years. Look at Woody’s face. LOOK AT IT!

An infamous 15-metre tall Christmas tree has made a return at a department store in Canada – and has horrified many. Woody – a giant tree with a robotic face – can be found at the Mic Mac Mall in Darmouth, Nova Scotia.

Canadians seem to be split in the middle whether the display is creepy or cute, with talk show host Jimmy Fallon comparing it to the ‘Red Light, Green Light’ Younghee doll from Netflix’s hit series Squid Game.

The interactive holiday decoration has big lips which move when it speaks, and curly lashes that bat.

I’m fairly certain the only bat needed here is an aluminum baseball bat. It can be used to beat this thing to death before also killing it with fire.

If you want to have continuing nightmares, you can see the tree in action at the link above.

Joe Biden: Leading The Way With Covid

The illegitimate president was touring a store on Nantucket Island Saturday, and was not wearing a mask, despite the fact the store had a large sign asking people to wear one. Thankfully, our elites are not subject to such Draconian rules.

President Joe Biden was spotted shopping inside a store over the weekend without wearing a mask which he has repeatedly urged Americans to wear.

The president was seen inside Murray’s Toggery Shop on the island of Nantucket Saturday with his mask around his neck and not covering his mouth despite a visible sign outside the door instructing patrons to wear a mask.

Masks have nothing to do with the Chinese Wuhan Virus. It has everything to do with controlling the masses.

According to the White House press pool, Biden walked out of the shop at 4:45 p.m. with his mask down and drinking what appeared to be a milkshake.

The president ignored a question on what more needs to be done to stop the rising omicron variant as he walked down the street to another store.

That’s because he is going to nothing about it, since the South African doctor who discovered the new variant claimed the strain is both “different and mild.” Every new strain of this virus will see more restrictions of your freedoms.

True Detective Stories

So the department’s commanders, in their truly finite wisdom, have decided there are entirely too many shootings and homicides in this city. No kidding?

Before I get to this ridiculous plan, some background. The city has not promoted detectives since 2019, and we are losing detectives every week from retirements, attrition, or outright resignations. My squad should have fifteen detectives, but we’re working with twelve. (Technically, we have eleven, because one detective is on military leave until January.) My squad averages twenty to forty jobs during an eight-hour shift, and we are in the busiest division in the city.

In short, we’re short. Every detective division in the city is in the same predicament.

This is what the commanders drummed up to stop the flow of violence. Detective Headquarters decided they would take detectives from the divisions and send them downtown to police HQ. When a non-fatal shooting occurs, these detectives would have to drive to different parts of the city, handle the shooting, and return to Police HQ to process the paperwork.

This is idiotic for three reasons. First, the divisional detectives are intimately familiar with the divisions where they work. Everyone knows where the hot spots are, and everyone knows who the bad guys are. Now, they’re sending detectives to different parts of the city, where they don’t know the lay of the land.

Second, the divisions are compartmentalized. A shooting comes in, the detective heads to the scene, and comes back to the division. The furthest district is maybe twenty-five minutes away, tops. Now, if you’re at Police HQ and you need to go to Northeast or Southwest Division, you’re looking at maybe an hour, one way.

Finally, this plan will decimate detective divisions. We’re already way too short to handle the insane amount of jobs we receive. Imagine how bad it will be when we lose half our detectives.

This department has made many terrible decisions in my twenty-eight years, but this is by far the dumbest idea they have ever imagined.

1,068 days.