The Biden Family Is A Little Too Close

Illegitimate President Joe Biden’s crack-addicted son Hunter was apparently diddling his brother’s widow, while also hooking up with another female family member. You stay classy, Hunter.

In March 2017 Page Six revealed Joe Biden’s blessing for the relationship between Hunter and Hallie Biden. The latter being the widow of Hunter’s brother Beau, who died of brain cancer in May 2015. But that wasn’t the only entanglement the US President’s son got involved in, according to the Daily Mail.

Beyond romancing his brother’s widow, the President’s son climbed further up her family tree.

Citing documents from Hunter’s abandoned laptop hard drive, the Mail unraveled intimate moments he had with Hallie’s sister, Elizabeth Secundy. The timing of the text message conversations between Hunter and Secundy coincidentally around when Hunter and Hallie Biden began dating, in July 2016.

So Crackhead Bob was banging Hallie one night, then diddling Elizabeth the next? Cripes, I hope Hallie doesn’t have any more sisters!

Well, I guess it’s official: the Bidens are the most despicable, disgusting family in America.

Meanwhile, In Belarus…

Belarus, like many of the Baltic states, has an alarming number of awful motorists. They drive too fast, they swerve too often, and they really like their vodka.

Incredible video: motorcyclist hit a car on the freeway and stuck a somersault landing on the roof.

The motorcyclist appears to be upright, alive at least. According to the video caption, this incredible incident occurred in Mogilev, Belarus.

Dude sticks the landing like he’s a combination of Spider-man and Mary Lou Retton.

You can see the video below the fold. It is truly entertaining…

Continue reading “Meanwhile, In Belarus…”

To Catch A Thief

A Canadian thief decided he was going to swipe a package from a residential porch, and he would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling snow piles.

This is an incredible video of the most embarrassing package theft in history, where not only did the thief not get the package, he also got stuck in a snow bank during the getaway before being arrested by police. It’s also the most Canadian video ever, where the thief is wearing a mask to be socially responsible and the victim even offers to get a shovel to help clear the snow. The only way it could be more Canadian is if the thief was wearing a hockey jersey and the guy filming was sipping some Tim Hortons coffee.

This dude is probably the worst scout of al time. He tries to swipe the package in the middle of the day, doesn’t see the Ring camera, and also doesn’t realize the homeowner watching him through the door. This is truly Home Alone territory here.

You can see the high-larious video below the fold…

Continue reading “To Catch A Thief”

He’s Definitely A Navel Officer

A U.S. Navy Lieutenant Commander has been dismissed after he was allegedly patronizing Bahrain and Thai prostitutes and dabbling in human trafficking. Wow, the Navy sounds like a helluva good time!

(For the record, the women in the photo are from Bahrain, but are not prostitutes.)

Lt. Cmdr. Joseph Nelson, formerly a Reserve officer at Naval Operational Support Center in New York, had been found guilty of unauthorized absence terminated by apprehension; conduct unbecoming an officer; and patronizing prostitutes. The only officer to be charged among at least nine sailors accused of sex crimes and human trafficking during a 2017-2018 deployment to Bahrain, Nelson was sentenced to forfeiture of $7,596 pay per month for four months and dismissal from the Navy.

Of course, Lt. Cmdr. Nelson could be reinstated if he claims he is now transgender.

But an opinion from the Court of Appeals for the Armed Forces, or CAAF, published Feb. 8, found that Nelson was wrongly convicted and sentenced on one charge: conduct unbecoming. The document also provides new details in the bizarre and dramatic case.

A Naval Criminal Investigative Service bust in 2018 publicized the shocking news that sailors deployed to Manama, Bahrain — headquarters of the Navy’s 5th Fleet — were accused of participating in a scheme to patronize and traffic Thai prostitutes.

Yes, members of the U.S. Navy patronizing prostitutes is utterly and completely shocking. /eyeroll

True Detective Stories

I’m just going to come out and say it; I despise Diego the Idiot Detective. He is not just an annoyance anymore. Diego is a virus, and he infects everyone he comes across. The man is a swollen, infected pustule filled with herpes and carbohydrates.

Our first day back to work was Thursday, and we were short on manpower. One detective was sick, and two were downtown for court cases. That left us with three detectives and Diego, who I refuse to acknowledge as a real detective. The overnight shift was busy, so they needed a drone to get a few search warrants.

Enter Diego.

Normally, it would take a real detective an hour and a half to two hours tops to drive downtown, get the warrants signed and returned. For Diego, it took four hours. FOUR HOURS!

While Diego was exploring the city’s vast food eateries, the other three detectives handled two arrests each and a few investigations. Eventually, the supervisor looked at me and asked, “Where is Diego?” I replied, “He’s still downtown with the warrants. It’s been four hours.” I told the supervisor I had to keep skipping Diego because when a job would come in, he was nowhere to be found.

I sent Diego a few texts reminding him we were getting crushed and he needed to return a.s.a.p. Those texts went unanswered. He finally returned at 12:30 – after leaving the office at 8am – and immediately ate his lunch. Remind you, we were still inundated with active jobs.

The supervisor called Diego to the front and told him he had a residential burglary. Amazingly, this douche canoe turns to the supervisor and says, “Well, I have to serve this warrant at the Youth Study Center.”

THE YOUTH STUDY CENTER IS TWO BLOCKS FROM WHERE HE WAS DOWNTOWN!

Already stressed and dealing with my shoulder pain, I let loose. “Then why the f**k didn’t you serve the warrant while you were there?!!!” Diego replied, “Oh, I didn’t think of it.” Angered, I replied, “Yeah, that’s not your strong suit. Before you leave, this is the information on the residential burglary. They are holding the scene, so you’ll have to drive by there, since everyone else has been working all day.”

Diego smirked and walked out the door, and he still had not returned by the time my shift was over.

I hate him. I truly, truly hate him. 1,344 days…

Feel-Good Friday

Two Ohio universities have begun a competition to see which school could tip the most to their local eateries during the Chinese Wuhan Virus. Apparently the competition has been hot and heavy.

The first touchdown play after the “tipoff” tipoff was quarterbacked by a Xavier College alum who left a $1,000 tip on a $54 bill at Zip’s Café with a scrawled napkin note that read: “Please share this tip with all your employees as they work so hard and are dealing with COVID. Go, Xavier!”

After the score was posted to the Internet, it was the University of Cincinnati’s turn to take the kick return and run with it.

The following week, two anonymous UC fans left a $1,001 tip at the nearby Keystone Bar & Grill along with a challenge: “Earlier this week I saw a Xavier fan tip $1,000 at Zip’s… I believe now more than ever we need to support our local restaurants. Let’s see how long we can keep this going … Bearcats up by 1!!”

While the game may not be over quite yet, so far, this year’s “Tipoff Bowl” has scored close to $34,000 for Cincinnati’s restaurant workers. When you’ve got a win/win like that, who needs a trophy?

They raised $34,000 for businesses which are struggling. Well done, everyone!

Speedy Gonzales Moves To Florida

Meet Richard Lee Ortecho of Flori-Duh.

Richard is living his best life, and by that I mean he ignores all traffic and speed laws when his favorite music comes on the radio.

In what may be the worst explanation for driving 50 mph over the posted limit, a 21-year-old motorist told cops he was speeding on a Florida highway because he was “listening to a song named Ciento Veinte, which means 120, so I was driving 120.”

Cops allege Richard Lee Ortecho, 21, was spotted weaving in and out of traffic Saturday on Interstate 95 near Vero Beach. Ortecho, driving a Volkswagen, was clocked at “speeds ranging between 120 mph and 127 mph” in a 70 mph zone.

Ortecho barely missed striking other vehicles, according to an arrest affidavit, and did not immediately stop when a cop car with its lights flashing gave chase. When Ortecho finally pulled over, he said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know driving reckless was illegal,” cops report.

One wonders how fast Richard would be driving if “Two Princes” came on the radio?

The Gita Will Bring Your Pita

The Philadelphia International Airport – arguably the worst major airport in America – has hired a fleet of rolling robots to deliver food to passengers while they’re waiting for their ten-hour late flights while watching Brian Stelter on the TV.

People waiting at Philadelphia International Airport can now get food delivered to them, contact-free, thanks to a new robot. The droid is called a gita – pronounced jee-tah.

Then the gita uses Bluetooth to follow an airport AtYourGate representative through the airport, right to where the passenger is located in the airport.

The gita, which can carry up to 40 pounds, features a cargo bin to hold guests’ orders. Once the gita arrives, passengers can open the robot’s bin and remove the food order for themselves.

Since this is Philadelphia, there is a better than average chance the robot will draw a gun and take your money, jewelry, and your dignity before rolling away.

Students Will Be Forced To Care

The Cherry Hill (NJ) School District has decided every student must complete an African-American history class in order to graduate from high school. The suggestion was made by an uber-woke seventh grader, who totally thought this idea up himself.

The Cherry Hill School District is now the first in New Jersey to require students to take African American history in order to graduate. The school board approved the move Tuesday night.

Students had lobbied for the course to become mandatory. The charge was led by seventh-grader Ebele Azikiwe, of Beck Middle School.

If I were to guess, the “students” were a group of less than ten people, who were likely put up to it by their leftist parents. To wit:

Ebele penned a letter last summer to the school district, asking for a more comprehensive and accurate curriculum on African American history.

Yes, because every seventh grader is more concerned with wokeness than, say, video games and sports. I’d wager the parents suggested the kid write the letter, or probably wrote it for him.

“They’ve asked for a mandatory African American history class as a requirement to graduate from high school and that’s something we are moving forward with,” Cherry Hill Superintendent Dr. Joseph Meloche said in October.

Here’s my legitimate question: Will the school district also demand students learn Asian-American, Jewish-American, and Indian-American history before they are graced with a diploma? Or is this just valid for African-Americans?