Feel-Good Friday

Chelsie Hill, a woman was was paralyzed after an auto accident wanted to overcome her injury before her wedding day, so she secretly learned to walk with leg braces and a walker. Chelsie did this in secret, and surprised the groom on their wedding day.

A bride who’d dreamed of walking down the aisle her whole life was left paralyzed in a car accident as a high school senior, throwing her future into uncertainty. Yet after meeting the man of her dreams, she summoned the strength to practice walking and surprised the groom by meeting him at the altar on her own two feet.

Chelsie Hill, 29, who hails from Los Angeles, California, married Jay Bloomfield, 34, on Sept. 24 at Hyatt Regency in Huntington Beach.

“Jay had absolutely no idea that I was actually planning, our entire relationship, to walk down the aisle,” Chelsie explained to The Epoch Times. “It’s something that I had to hide from him for a very long time … I had to train for it.”

With her surprise of walking down the aisle, Chelsie stunned the entire congregation. It was not only Jay who was unaware of her plan, but a lot of their friends and extended family had no idea. Attendees would later tell Chelsie that other hotel guests came onto their balconies to watch as she walked down the aisle.

Amazing. I could probably add something here, but the story says it all.

Ancient Chinese Babysitting Secret

Meet Kerry Caviasca of Watertown, Connecticut.

Kerry is a hard-working school teacher who simply wanted to take a quick trip to Florida with her boyfriend. Since it was only a three-day trip, Kerry left her young children alone in their home and told them to stay out of sight.

Kerry Caviasca, 36, was arrested Saturday on reckless endangerment and risk of injury charges in connection with her three-day trip to the Sunshine State in late-November. Caviasca is free on $5000 bond in advance of a January 25 Superior Court hearing.

Police began investigating Caviasca after her ex-husband reported that she had left the children, ages 9 and 11, alone in a Watertown residence. Caviasca’s former spouse provided cops with a series of incriminating texts she exchanged with her children while she was out of town.

How do you leave an eleven and a nine year old in the house alone for three days? Cripes, just let the ex-husband take them.

Both of you stay in the basement,” wrote Caviasca, who advised the children to avoid the upstairs of the residence and “Jus staying downstairs.” When one child asked, “are we going into school, no right,” Caviasca replied, “no.”

On a Sunday evening, when one of the children asked, “what are we going to have for dinner,” Caviasca answered, “Just eat candy I’m sorry” and “what ever is downstairs.” She added, “I’ll make it up to you.”

Caviasca, cops charge, wanted the children to stay out of sight in the basement. When one of the minors asked, “Can I pee,” Caviasca replied, “Quick no lights.” After one of the children wrote, “I’m sad I put my batteries upstairs,” Caviasca suggested that the child could go upstairs “super fast,” but noted, “stay low so no one sees you.”

Not only should this awful woman be arrested – she was – but she should also lose her kids, lose her job, and lose any paternal rights from here on out. This woman is a despicable piece of detritus who should be shunned for the rest of her days.

Stretch And Bend And Turn And Kick…

A Fairfax, Virginia man was arrested after he drunkenly stumbled into a fitness center and started harassing the employees and members. Wow, I wonder if going to the gym is more fun when you’re hammered?

City of Fairfax Police charged a Maryland man Tuesday night for assaulting law enforcement officers and being drunk in public.

Pfft, it’s called Jazzercise, you dolts!

Officers responded around 10:19 p.m to the Life Time Fitness in Fair City Mall for the report of an intoxicated man walking up to the center’s patrons.

Following a preliminary investigation, the officers charged Jair Moreno, 34, of Maryland with being drunk in public. They then transported him to the Fairfax County Adult Detention Center. Once there, police say Moreno kicks two law enforcement officers.

If nothing else, give the guy some credit for showing up to the gym and actually working out. Don’t tell Mrs. Earp, but I log in to Planet Fitness, and walk on the treadmill for an hour behind a woman with a perfectly-shaped ass.

The Beyotch Is Back

A CNN editorial is claiming “everyone” is excited for Hillary Clinton’s political comeback, after her close friends – the ones she hasn’t had killed – started claiming she will run, again, for president in 2024.

A CNN op-ed has claimed that “everyone in politics” is thrilled by the prospect of Hillary Clinton’s “comeback.”

Literally no one is excited for a despicable, angry, elderly woman to run – and likely lose – another presidential election. She’s in very poor health, and she’ll be 78 years old in 2024.

The op-ed author, Michael D’Antonio, alleged “everyone in the political world,” including Democrats and Republicans, are excited by the twice-failed presidential candidate’s return to politics.

Dude, whatever you’re taking, cut the damned dose!

D’Antonio predicted that if Clinton were to run in 2024, her ambition would grant her the ascendancy of other politicians like “Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, the first president Bush — who lost either primary or general elections and came back to win the White House.”

D’Antonio also writes that the former secretary of state would be the most qualified candidate in 2024.

How so? She was First Lady for four years, a U.S. Senator for eight years (where she did virtually nothing), and Secretary of State for four years under Obama, as she sat back and watched Americans slaughtered in Benghazi. Yep, those are some top-notch credentials. Shut up and take my ballot!

It’s both embarrassing and pathetic that this woman still believes she is relevant in American politics. Look lady, you lost to two political novices; Barack Obama, then Donald Trump, and neither bout was really close. Instead of drinking yourself to death, why not spend time with your grandkids?

True Detective Stories

Allow me to explain what kind of garbage department I work for. (Yes, I know that first sentence would get me kicked out of English class.) But I digress.

When I was a wet-behind-the-ears detective, the squad floor had four printers. Two Epson black and white printers, one color printer, and a black and white teletype printer. The teletype printer just pushes out court notices, warrant updates, and messages from police headquarters.

About three years in, one of the black and white printers went kaput. The city promised they would replace the printer, but fifteen years later we are still waiting. “I don’t think she’s ever coming back.”

The color printer was a godsend. We could finally show photo arrays in color, as the black and white photos were usually grainy. Eventually, we saw a trend with the color printer. The ink would run out in less than a week.

The color printer effectively became a Rube Goldberg machine. The ink ran out, and it took the city a few weeks to replace the color ink. We would insert said ink, and the two week backup of detectives trying to print in color – even though they knew it wasn’t working – printed the backlogs.

This particular color printer was nearly impossible to stop while it was shuffling out papers we didn’t need anymore, and by the end of the day, we were out of color ink.

The circle of life continued unabated…

Continue reading “True Detective Stories”

The Biggest Bitch On Earth

Meet Kali, a TikTok streamer – as if that’s a real thing – from Britain. Kali went out on a date the other day, and it turned into “the worst f**king date” of her life. So, instead of politely letting the guy down easy, she decided to release her inner c*nt.

Sorry, not sorry. This chick is a twat.

A woman had shared how got out of a bad date by pretending to receive a text telling her she had Covid from a positive PCR test – when in actual fact it was a text from her friend to help ditch her date.

TikToker, Kali (@tin.tin__1) described how she was on “the worst f***ing date I’ve ever been on in my life” and need rescuing, as she explained in her story and recalled thinking, “I need to leave, I couldn’t spend anymore time here.”

So not only is Kali a c*nt, but her friend is, also.

After she escaped to the toilet, Kali came up with her exit plan and got her friend to text her a fake covid positive test result and changed her contact name to “NHS PCR TEST” to make it believable, as she show viewers the fake text which read:

“Your coronavirus lateral flow test result was positive. It’s likely you are infectious. Find out at nhs.uk/coronavirus and read ‘Self-isolation and treating symptoms.’”

If there is any justice in this world, kali would catch the Covid, and be placed on a ventilator.

It was then, that the TikToker used this opportunity to leave and said: “Well I’m gonna have to go home,” but rather than doing that she went clubbing with her pal and revealed she “slept with somebody anyway.

Of course she did, because she’s a lying whore. By the way, she’s moderately pretty, but she should look into fixing those eyebrows, because…. damn.

Russian Invasion Of Ukraine Imminent

The White House and its lying Press Secretary Jen Psaki is claiming Russian Strongman Vladimir Putin’s invasion of Ukraine is imminent, and they may attack “at any point.”

The White House raised more concerns about the future of Ukraine on Tuesday, as Russians amass troops at the border. White House press secretary Jen Psaki raised the alarm during the daily briefing.

“We believe we’re now at a stage where Russia could at any point launch an attack on Ukraine,” Psaki said. “I would say that’s more stark than we have been.”

If I know Putin, and I think I’ve read enough about Lenin and Stalin to take an educated guess; Putin will invade during the Olympics. The world will be so enthralled with the Olympic Games that no one will even bat an eye.

President Biden has repeatedly talked tough with Russian President Vladimir Putin about Ukraine, but tensions continue to rise over Russia’s decision to deploy troops in the region.

That’s probably because Putin knows Biden is a withered, dementia-addled old fossil who couldn’t – and wouldn’t – dare to challenge Russia on this. Hell, Biden already effectively said the U.S. will not intervene, and reaffirmed he will not send military aid to Ukraine. Pray for Ukraine. It’s going to be ugly.

They Should Have Gotten Rideau

Remember the “Feel-Good Friday” Ottawa kid who lost his stuffed deer when his brother threw it into the river? Well, we apparently found his Bizarro World older sister.

Onlookers were shocked as a woman driving across a frozen river in Canada crashed through the ice and plunged into the freezing water. But that isn’t the shocking part of this story. It seems that residents in Old Mill Way were further confused by the whole scenario when the driver stopped and posed for a selfie on the rear of her sinking car.

The woman, who has not yet been named by authorities, plunged into the Rideau River on Sunday evening at around 4:30 p.m., after wintery conditions seemingly froze the river solid. As local people scurried to mount a rescue attempt, the woman was spotted taking a selfie to immortalize the moment.

The woman was driving on the Rideau River, the same river where they found the boy’s stuffed deer.

According to local news channel CTV News Ottawa, a group of quick-thinking locals sprang into action to rescue the woman as she stood on the roof of her car. Two residents used a kayak and a rope to pull the driver of the yellow car to safety. (H/TMis. Hum.)

The woman was driving about 40 mph on the obviously not-completely-frozen river, when her car cracked the ice. Honestly, in this case, the locals should have let her car – and her – sink into the Rideau.

Eight-Year Old Is The Hero Canada Needs

An eight-year Ottawa, Canada boy is being heralded as a hero after he rescued an elderly man trapped in the snow, rescuing him, and calling paramedics.

In a tweet, the Ottawa Paramedic Service said Clayton McGuire had spotted the man near his home and immediately told his parents, who called 911.

“The gentleman was almost all covered due to the huge snowfall when Clayton spotted him,” the paramedic service said. “A man, I saw him on the floor. Went to go my mom and dad straight away,” Clayton told CTV News, describing the scene.

I would hope he would not do the same for, say, Justin Trudeau.

Clayton’s dad Joey McGuire said he checked on the man as soon as he was outside.

“I asked the man if he was okay. He seemed like he was hurt; he couldn’t get up, he couldn’t walk, he had no strength at all,” McGuire explained. “Looked like he had been down there for at least 20 minutes, maybe longer, because he was totally covered in snow.”

McGuire says he and his wife brought the man up to their stairs, sat him down and got him a blanket. Clayton made him a hot chocolate while they waited for the ambulance to arrive.

The good news is the man survived. The bad news is he still has to watch the Ottawa Senators.