She’s So Cool, She’s White!

Meet Tammera Megan Lee of Nashville, Tennessee. Tammera likes to have a good time once in a while, and when she wants to party, she really let’s herself go. In this case she was abusive to a black police officer and claimed the dumbest excuse for a DUI I have ever heard.

“I’ll get away with it cause I’m white.”

That is what Tammera Megan Lee, 42, told Officer Ronald Conner of the Metro Nashville Police Department while being arrested for suspicion of DUI, according to the affidavit submitted by the arresting officer.

Maybe this drunk didn’t get the message, but whites don’t get away with anything anymore. Not since the election of Barack Hussein Obama and the Saint George Floyd riots, anyway.

Officer Conner, who is a Black man, states in his affidavit that he arrived at the scene when Lee drove her car into a secure lot reserved for members of the Davidson County Sheriff’s Office.

That is when the defendant allegedly became “more belligerent,” and informed Officer Conner of her belief as to why she would “get away with it.”

This may surprise you, but Tammera did not only not get away with it, but she was arrested and sent to Metro Nashville Jail before eventually making bail.

I Would Like To Have Seen Montana

If you’re planning to visit Big Sky Country any time soon, you’ll have to do so without any Whi-SKY. You see, F. Joe Biden’s administration still cannot fix the supply lines, and the state of Montana is completely out of Jameson whiskey.

In a strange quirk of ongoing pandemic-related shortages, there has hardly been a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey to be found at any bar in western Montana for nearly two months.

That’s according to multiple bar owners and liquor store managers.

Even in Butte, with its rich Irish history, the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day celebration will most likely not feature the coveted spirit.

“We only have two precious bottles left that we’ve been saving for St. Patrick’s Day,” said Lacey Clements, a bartender at Maloney’s, an Irish bar on Main Street. “It’ll be first-come, first-served. All of the liquor stores are out and they’ve told us any more bottles are still a month or so away.”

Now, the be perfectly honest, I am not a huge fan of whiskey. When I still played ice hockey, I drank it, because our sponsor was a bar that always had Jameson on hand. But it doesn’t like me, and I rarely like it, although I did have some on New Year’s Eve when Kyle had his friends over.

It sucks for the St. Patrick’s crowd, but you all know who’s to blame.

Stretch And Bend And Turn And Kick…

A Fairfax, Virginia man was arrested after he drunkenly stumbled into a fitness center and started harassing the employees and members. Wow, I wonder if going to the gym is more fun when you’re hammered?

City of Fairfax Police charged a Maryland man Tuesday night for assaulting law enforcement officers and being drunk in public.

Pfft, it’s called Jazzercise, you dolts!

Officers responded around 10:19 p.m to the Life Time Fitness in Fair City Mall for the report of an intoxicated man walking up to the center’s patrons.

Following a preliminary investigation, the officers charged Jair Moreno, 34, of Maryland with being drunk in public. They then transported him to the Fairfax County Adult Detention Center. Once there, police say Moreno kicks two law enforcement officers.

If nothing else, give the guy some credit for showing up to the gym and actually working out. Don’t tell Mrs. Earp, but I log in to Planet Fitness, and walk on the treadmill for an hour behind a woman with a perfectly-shaped ass.

R.I.P Australia

Do you remember the good ol’ days when Australia was the home of gorgeous women and big, brawny men? Well, those days are gone forever, as young Australians are apparently forgoing alcohol. Holy crap, the Land Down Under has collapsed.

That’s the growing belief amongst younger Australians who are switching to a non-alcoholic lifestyle in droves, helped by an increase in low or no alcoholic beverages that are hitting the market.

According to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, in 2001 just 8.9 per cent of Australians in their 20s abstained from drinking.

“We are seeing young people embracing sobriety or cutting back on drinking in a way that we haven’t before,” Caterina Giorgi, the CEO of the Foundation for Alcohol Research and Education, said.

While I don’t necessarily condemn these Aussies for their choices, I wonder if the country’s ban on firearms and the Covid lockdowns turned all these rugged people into soy-filled sacks of protoplasm?

Lousy Drunks!

Tell me if you heard this story before. A drunken Irishman gets shite-faced drunk, forgets where he is going, and breaks into a secured building. Yeah, we heard it a hundred times, but rarely does an Irish lush break into a presidential palace.

AN IRISHMAN has been arrested in Bucharest for allegedly breaking into the Presidential Palace over Christmas while drunk. It is alleged he mistook the building for his hotel when he came back from a night out in the Romanian capital.

Police said the Irish citizen jumped over a fence and escaped from the Defence and Protection Service after breaking a window to get into the palace.

The secure site is the second largest building in the world after the US Pentagon – and the bizarre breach has sparked a major security review. The man managed to reach the third floor while drunkenly searching for his room before he was caught after fleeing.

While being arrested is nothing new for the Irish, this may be the first time an Irishman broke into Romania’s Presidential Palace. When the man is released, I’m sure he will be showered with potatoes and Irish Spring when he arrives home.

High Curbs Beat High Cheekbones

Cavendish Press Taken From Isabella’s Instagram
Meet Isabella Worthington, a 23-year old hottie from Cheshire, UK.

Isabella likes to party, especially during the holidays, but apparently she cannot hold her liquor, or drive her Mercedes, or see the “high curb” she rammed into.

Isabella Worthington, 23, was found to be 11 points over the alcohol limit when cops pulled her over after watching her scrape her A Class outside a shopping parade in Manchester. But the party lover, from Cheshire, claimed she had only clipped the roadside at Parsonage Retail Park as it was “unnaturally high” due to the road being “under-developed”.

I’m going to be honest here, I cannot understand half the words these limeys inserted into this story. What the actual f**k is a shopping parade?

She initially pleaded not guilty to a charge of driving with excess alcohol and asked for the matter to be taken to trial – which would have cost taxpayers £770. Worthington, who is thought to work as an underwriter for a car finance company, changed her plea to guilty on the day of the trial after watching police footage of the incident.

If I had a dollar for every righteous criminal who claimed he/she was innocent and immediately changed their tune when we showed them camera footage, I could have retired years ago. I mean, Isabella is crazy stupid hot, and she’ll “probably” learn her lesson; if only to make sure that perfect face doesn’t get mangled next time.

A Tree Falls In Bridgend

A Welsh woman was in the process of closing The Star pub during a severe storm when she took a moment for a smoke break. That cigarette likely saved the woman’s life.

CCTV footage shows the moment a woman narrowly avoided being hit by a falling tree in a pub beer garden amid strong winds from Storm Arwen.

Cheryl Pound had the lucky escape while having a cigarette break after closing The Star pub in Bridgend where she works.

Footage from the pub, in Market Street, captured the moment the tree fell just feet away from her.

You can see the video at the link. It’s really crazy. I do, however, give Cheryl huge props for grabbing her beer as the tree fell.

Bud, That’s Way Too Much Light

A Texas man was recently evicted by his landlord, and the tenant decided to leave a few hundred mementos to remember him by.

I mean, I love an ice cold Bud Light as much as the next guy, but I think we can all agree, this is probably a bit much. According to the details on the video, this was the first time they visited the place after evicting the tenant.

“This was our first view of the property after evicting a tenant. All of the beers were empty. Every bottle was exclusively Bud Lite.”

Imagine drinking that much Bud Light. I mean, this dude couldn’t afford better beer?

You can just feel the sad bewilderment in the owner’s voice… trying to wrap his head around the nightmare that he has in front of him. It’s actually almost impressive how he managed to store up that many bottles. And the real bummer here is that it happened in Texas. In Michigan, you can get 10 cents a bottle.

I wonder if the tenant lived like that on a daily basis, or if he decided to spread the bottles around when he found out he was going to be evicted?

Two Dead In Fiery Philly Crash

Two people were burned to death after an alleged drunk driver struck their vehicle at an astronomical speed, igniting the gas tank and causing an explosion.

This, of course, occurred in my division.

Two people died trapped in a burning sedan following a two-car crash in Philadelphia Saturday night.

The vehicles collided around 11 p.m. near the intersection of Johnson Street and Stenton Avenue in the East Mount Airy neighborhood. The victims’ bodies were so badly burned that authorities could not immediately identify them.

A white sheet could be seen draped over the charred sedan, which sustained major rear-end damage. A few yards away was an SUV with extensive front-end damage. Police said the SUV driver was taken to a hospital.

The city’s intersection cameras captured the incident, and I can tell you 1. the driver was absolutely drunk, and 2. the driver was traveling well over 100 mph. The driver hit the victim’s car and it immediately exploded in a ten-foot fireball.

The driver was uninjured, and drove away from the scene. We have no idea how his car wasn’t mangled.

Drunken Idiot Nearly Kills Twin Brother

A New Jersey teenager has been arrested after “allegedly” driving drunk, punching his sister, and nearly killing his twin brother. The family that flays together stays together.

The siblings of a West Caldwell 18-year-old charged in a drunken driving crash that seriously injured his twin brother begged him not to get behind the wheel as he tried to leave a house party in town.

Anthony Dattoli was “obviously intoxicated” when he made his way to an Audi A4 parked outside a home on Annin Road early on the morning of June 27.

Dattoli punched his sister in the face and then his twin brother jumped on the vehicle’s hood as they tried to stop him from driving.

I’ve seen that one or two times in my career, and it’s never a good idea.

Dattoli pulled away with his brother on the hood and drove almost three blocks before losing control of the car and slamming into a tree near the corner of Central Avenue and Taylor Drive at about 1:20 a.m.

Dattoli’s brother will have to have one of his legs amputated. Naturally, the idiot driver came away without a scratch. Here’s hoping he spends the bulk of his life in prison.