Profiles In Courage

A Dallas-area exotic dancer fell from the top of her pole, fracturing her jaw and cracking a few of her teeth. The woman cowboy’d up, shook it off, and continued her set. Boom!

The Sky is falling. A Dallas, Texas, exotic dancer plummeted nearly 15 feet after falling from a strip club pole and hit the ground twerking, despite smashing her jaw and shattering teeth.

After footage of performer Genea Sky’s harrowing fall hit the Internet, she posted an Instagram video explaining what had happened and thanked friends and fans for their support. She also created a GoFundMe page to pay her medical expenses.

In that video posted Sunday, the consummate showbiz pro said she fractured her jaw, which would require surgery Monday. Sky’s fall also caused her to break a few teeth and sprain an ankle, but she walked away from the accident on her own.

To give you some perspective, and an idea how baller this woman is, LeBron James was carried off the basketball court during the 2014 NBA Finals for cramps. Cramps!

I’d Buy That For A Peso!

The brother of Colombian drug kingpin Pablo Escobar has invented a foldable smartphone he believes will be “the real Samsung killer.” Hmm, interesting choice of words.

Pablo Escobar’s drugs empire is the stuff of legend – but his brother Roberto De Jesus Escobar Gaviria has released a new phone with a quite jaw-dropping advertising campaign. He’s released a new foldable smartphone which, according to his company’s website, is “the real Samsung killer.”

The phone has been introduced by a bevy of models in a gratuitously sexy video ad that takes its cue from Benny Benassi’s seminal Satisfaction music video.

I heartily endorse this event or product!

In July last year, Roberto launched his own brand of personal flamethrower, to rival the one produced by Elon Musk’s Boring Company.

Well, with Roberto Escobar in charge, the business will be anything but boring.

She’ll Be Rolling In The Evergreen

Meet Presley Pritchard, formerly of Evergreen Fire Rescue in Montana. Presley takes good care of herself and spends a lot of time in the gym. Ironically, she’ll likely own many gyms in the near future.

In her complaint filed Jan. 2 with the Montana Human Rights Bureau, Presley Pritchard alleged she also suffered multiple instances of sexual harassment during her nearly three-year career with Evergreen and was asked to take down social media posts showing her in workout and firefighter gear, while others in the department faced no such recourse.

“… Several male employees in the department have photos of themselves in uniforms and turnouts in front of fire trucks and at the department on their social media accounts,” Pritchard’s complaint states. “Importantly, Evergreen Fire Department does not have a social media policy and never has. I was directly targeted due to how I looked in my gym attire at a public gym.”

There it is. If the department has no social media policy, how can they legitimately terminate her for posting photos on social media?

Prior to her termination, the department issued Pritchard verbal and then written warnings that she had utilized taxpayer resources for her own benefit, posted a photo taken at the scene of an accident and refused to take down posts depicting Evergreen Fire equipment and resources when asked to do so.

Now maybe it’s just me, but my department encourages its officers to be in the best shape possible. Would Evergreen rather their firefighters and medics be overweight slobs who get winded climbing into a fire truck? This is a stupid move by Evergreen, which will cost them dearly.

She’s A Winner!

Meet Ashley Haas, a fashion model, YouTuber, and a very successful predictor of NFL games.

If you aren’t familiar with Haas, that might sound crazy. But if you are one of her 219,000 Instagram followers or the thousands of fans who subscribe to her YouTube channel, you know she’s ready for prime time.

“I think the Chiefs are going to win,” the fashion model [said]. “The spread opened at one and a half and favored the Chiefs. But I think it’s going to be a close game.”

On her biweekly show, “Ashley Against All Odds,” she predicts winners for every NFL matchup, interviews guests like Jets linebacker Avery Williamson and conducts on-the-street interviews with fellow football fans. She started it in 2018 and, Haas said, has notched a 61% success rate on her picks this past season.

Eh, 61% is arguably better than most Vegas bookies and so-called NFL “experts.” Plus, she’s much easier on the eyes than Mel Kiper of Chris Berman.

Shut Up, Meg

There are even more reasons to cheer for Meghan Markle’s rejection of her royalty status: the decision is sending many Meghan Markle impersonators to the unemployment lines. God save the Queen.

Amid all the kerfuffle over Megxit, spare a thought for the Meghan Markle lookalikes whose work may dry up now that the former actress and her husband, Prince Harry, are severing ties with the British royal family.

They include Sarah Mhlanga, the UK’s foremost Markle doppelgänger, who says she enjoys playing the 38-year-old “because she’s so smiley,” but adds that she is taking the dramatic change to her situation in stride.

Mhlanga, 36, of Manchester, England, who describes herself as an actress, says she gets mistaken for the duchess wherever she goes.

Wow, and Mhlanga believes that’s a good thing? It’s like being mistaken for Michelle Obama or Adam Schiff. Most people would be embarrassed.

Kiss Me Deadly

An Ecuadorian man was caught cheating after he was featured on a soccer match’s Kiss Cam.

An Ecuadorian man was allegedly caught red handed cheating on his partner with another woman, when the half-time kiss cam showed them kissing in the stands during a soccer match.

Last Saturday, Barcelona of Guayaquil, Ecuador’s very own Barcelona soccer club, made its traditional yearly presentation during a friendly match against rivals Delfin, one of last season’s revelations. It was a good game, but it was surprisingly overshadowed by something that occurred during the half-time break.

The kiss-cam showed a young couple making out in the stands, but things got weird when the man saw himself on one of the jumbo screens. He immediately removed his arm from around the young lady, his smile went away instantly, and the two just started looking in opposite directions, like they didn’t know each other.

Smooth move, bruh. I’m sure nobody noticed, except the thousands of people in the stands, and those who saw the video on social media.

Back To America!

Well, it seems Lindsay Lohan is not welcome in another country anymore. The actress-turned-drunk told CNN she is moving back to the United States; I assume to beat the rapidly expanding border wall.

The 33-year-old actress — who is currently in Muscat, Oman — interviewed with Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen on New Year’s Eve via satellite interview and opened up about her resolutions for 2020, which included her plans to come home.

“I’m managing my sister, so I want to really focus on me and everything that I can do in my life and come back to America and start filming again, which I’m doing something soon in this new year,” Lohan revealed. “And, you know, just taking back the life I’ve worked so hard for and sharing it with my family and you guys.”

Look, I welcome another borderline hot actress in my country, but let’s honest; Ali Lohan is not a household name, and I doubt her career is taking off anytime soon. I’m guessing Oman does not offer much excitement in the form of bars, strip clubs, brothels, and Lindsay needs to be where the action is.

A Damsel In This Dress

A young New York City woman has posted a Craigslist ad seeking a divorce attorney. The woman claims she does not have much money, but implies her payment can be made “under the table” so to speak.

From the bowels of Craigslist comes an… interesting ad. According to the copy, there’s a young woman — or in the parlance of the ad, a 22-year-old “damsel” — in need of a divorce. Now, that’s a pretty standard reason to seek a lawyer, though Craigslist is not the preferred way to engage counsel. But things kinda go off the rails when it becomes clear the poster cannot afford legal services. Rather than look for attorneys willing to work for free, she seems to want to avail herself of the barter system.

What precisely she’s willing to trade is left up to your imagination, but it certainly looks like she’s seeking a pro boner attorney.

While I am not a member of the bar, I am a law enforcement professional, and unlike most attorneys, I won’t charge you an arm and a leg. Maybe just some breasts and thighs.

Kathy At The Bat

Crazy stupid hot supermodel Kathy Ireland has come to First Lady Melania Trump’s defense, claiming she is doing “a wonderful job.” So I guess Kathy will be blacklisted by the time you finish reading this sentence.

Former supermodel Kathy Ireland has come to the defense of Melania Trump and praised her for her anti-bullying efforts.

“She’s [the first lady’s] doing a wonderful job,” the 56-year-old model/actress turned author shared in a newly released interview for an episode of Yahoo Finance’s “Influencers with Andy Serwer.”

“I don’t think there is any time that bullying is OK for anybody,” she added. “There’s never a time when that’s OK.”

Good for her. It’s high time people start waking up to the fact this First Lady actually possesses class.

A Mate Which Will Live In Infamy

Ladies and gentlemen, I know everyone is concerned about last week’s fatal shootings at Pearl Harbor, but I want you to know former pr0n actress Jenna Jameson is alive and well. Wait, what???

Jenna Jameson is letting people know she is safe after the Pearl Harbor Naval Shipyard shooting that occurred near her Hawaii home.

Jameson, 45, took to Twitter to acknowledge her safety after the fatal shooting happened “right next door” to her home.

“Shooting right next door to me at Pearl Harbor… we are safe. Prayers for the victims,” the adult actress wrote. The gunman killed two people and injured one.

Look, I have nothing against Jenna – in fact I’m a big, big fan – but seriously, wait a few days until things calm down, and then go on social media to update your status.