Hot Cop Will Get To The Bottom Of This

Meet Michelle Walton of The Isle or Wight.

Michelle was a police officer for more than thirty years, and when she retired at the age of 51, she decided to take on a different career. In this case… a stripper.

A career cop who spent more than 30 years on the force has found a new passion performing as a policewoman stripper.

Michelle Walton, 51, who hails from the Isle of Wight in England, retired from her local police department in 2020 before creating her saucy stripping routine when she joined a small burlesque dance class.

“I created a stripping cop routine, as I already have the truncheon [baton] and handcuffs,” the raunchy retiree told Southwest News Service on Friday.

Walton took a year of unpaid leave to visit Australia, and while there she did a few odd (also hot) jobs.

The British beauty spent more than a decade as a cop before taking a year of unpaid leave, traveling to Australia for a working holiday in 1999. “When I got to Australia, I needed a job so I became a skimpy bar maid, which involved working in pubs in my underwear, then flashing my boobs for money,” Walton recalled.

Hey, it’s honest work, and, uh, when exactly is she on stage? Asking for a friend.

Profiles In Babeage

Meet Allison Lang, a Canadian amputee who lost the lower half of her left leg. Allison could have sat in her house feeling sorry for herself, but Allison wanted to do something more.

Allison Lang is done with hiding her body. Over the weekend, the Canadian amputee and disability advocate took to Instagram to post a travel video alongside a body positive message that encouraged fans to “wear the bikini.”

In the clip, Lang, who was born without the lower half of her left leg, sat on a boat overlooking the Croatian waters. She smiled while taking in the picture-perfect scenery in a black bikini and a pair of oversized sunglasses.

I’m not sure I’d be as optimistic as Allison, but she certainly isn’t a quitter.

In the caption, the athlete and public speaker opened up about the shame she used to associate with her body, and how she’s learned to love herself.

“Don’t hide your body, you’re beautiful. I can’t believe all the life experiences I would have missed out on if I continued to hide my body the way I did when I was younger. Younger me would have made an excuse as to why I couldn’t join friends on a boat or a beach day by the water. But not because of what my friends would think of my body, rather what strangers would think of my disability,” she penned. “Please don’t miss out on life experience. Say yes and rock the bikini. You’re perfect the way you are. Differences and all.”

Amen, Allison. Keep fighting the good fight.

Google Finally Did Something Right

There is no company on Earth I despise more than Google. The organization is chock full of leftist, anti-free speech a-holes who spy on you and sell your personal information.

That said, Google Street View did something spectacular recently.

People virtually exploring Majorca on Google Street View noticed not one but two oddities in an otherwise idyllic beachside scene on the Spanish island.

Images taken at Cala Na Clara beach, along the east coast of the island, and posted on Reddit show a paddleboarder in a compromising position, the Sun reported. Instead of the intended purpose of the board, the woman can be seen having a little yoga session, pictured on her head in a complicated position.

The woman may be wearing a bikini bottom, but nothing else. Honestly, I need to take a vacation in Spain next year. Never know what you’re gonna see.

Damn, I’m Two Days Late

Apparently July 14th is National Nude Day. I have no idea why this is not listed on my phone calendar, but those bastards at Samsung will find a terse email in their inbox!

One thing is for sure, the observance offers a way to keep cool on a hot, sticky summer day. Nudist groups around the world celebrate this holiday and take it quite seriously, too! Nudists are not perverts, even though their desire to go au natural might be offensive to the conservative population.

They are individuals who believe the human body is most beautiful in its natural state. Whether or not you agree with them, nudists encourage people to shed the restrictions of clothing and be natural.

Noted for enjoying the natural state, Benjamin Franklin would reportedly take air baths by the open window of his room allowing the fresh air to drift around his birthday suit. The postmaster didn’t invent the naturist movement, nor did it take any particular nation by storm.

Probably because Ben was all shriveled up when he took his air baths. If you want something like this to catch on, have Kate Winslet air dry her pink parts.

A Room With A View

An attractive couple decided to have hot, wet sex in the jacuzzi of a Hong Kong hotel last week in view of many hotel guests.

Man I wish I was attractive enough to have sex in public. Alas, it was not to be. I probably could have done so in high school and college.

An appalled Hong Kong hotel guest captured the scandalous moment two shameless couples decided to get jiggy with it in the facility’s jacuzzis. A video of their hot tub hanky panky session is currently blowing up online.

Hanky panky, getting jiggy with it, good grief, the media is awful.

“I did not expect to see people doing this when I stood on my balcony,” the unnamed videographer told Viral Press of the lecherous quartet’s aquatic romp. The NSFW double date went down July 1 in a high-rise hotel room in the North Point area of the Vertical City.

Yeah, he didn’t expect people to be banging in the jacuzzi, but he had no problem taping the incident. I mean, I would have done the same, because I’m a guy.

The steamy 35-second clip, filmed from the cameraman’s veranda, shows an unidentified man performing a randy sex act on a woman in an open-air hot tub a floor below in full view and earshot of the surrounding rooms.

So I guess people complained when the woman started yelling, “Give it to me, give it to me!”

You can see the couple’s photos at the link, but there aren’t any pink parts showing.

Aussie Woman Accused Of Banging Teen

Meet Australian horse heiress Savannah Daisley. Savannah is obviously a ridiculously gorgeous woman, who any man would love to court. Sadly, Savannah is into 14-year old boysallegedly.

An Australian horse heiress is saddled with charges after being accused of having sex with a 14-year-old boy four times in a single day.

Savannah Daisley, 45, faced Waverley Local Court in Sydney on Tuesday on child sex abuse allegations, with Judge Jaqueline Milledge denying her bail over the “quite disturbing” allegations.

Disturbing for the judge possibly, but the kid considers himself the King of the World!

The glamorous mother of two, who is the daughter of famed Aussie horse breeder Ross Daisley, strongly denies the accusations and intends to plead not guilty.

Cops claim an unbridled Daisley molested the minor four times before 5 p.m. on May 20 last year. It’s unclear whether the pair were known to each other prior to the alleged acts.

I always wondered where these gorgeous women were when I was in high school. Kevin is fourteen, and if this happened to him, I’d… give him a high-five!

Ukraine Women Supporting Their Army

A gaggle of gorgeous Ukrainian gals are trying to do their part to raise money for Ukraine’s armed forces. Their fundraiser is not something you would usually see on a GoFundMe, but it’s working nonetheless.

A group of Ukrainian women have started selling lewd photos of themselves online in an effort to raise money for the war against Russia.

I heartily endorse this event or product.

Under the banner of the “TerOnlyFans” project, a collection of Ukrainians ended up netting more than £620,000 for their military, raising funds for the nation as they continue to fight off Russian forces.

A total of 38 “movement participants” were featured on the official website, which offers nude photos in exchange for donations to Ukrainian charities.

Despite some people’s distaste for such a project, I think this is a great idea. If they raised more than $600,000 already, they’re definitely doing a good thing, in my opinion.

The Queen Has Arrived

Meet Madison Novo, a Hooters waitress from Miami, Florida.

Madison recently won Miss Hooters International 2022, and I cannot think of anyone better deserving.

Miami server Madison Novo was crowned Miss Hooters International 2022 at a pageant held in Lake Tahoe on Thursday night.

The annual beauty contest, which is in its 25th year, sees stunning Hooters servers compete for the coveted title and a cash prize. Novo, 19, beat out 50 other employees of the restaurant franchise to collect a cool $30,000.

Hey Maddie, if you would like some company, drop me a line!

The brunette beauty has worked at various Hooters locations across South Florida in the past two years and told the crowd she had aspired to be a Hooters Girl since some gave her an emotional boost when she was a tween.

“When I was 12 years old in the hospital with a rare kidney failure, I was visited by Hooters Girls who lifted my spirits,” Novo declared in a press release sent to The Post. “In my upcoming role, I’m determined to help children around the world feel they aren’t alone during their battles.”

Heh, heh, she said “feel.” I’ll be in my bunk.