Dolores O’Riordan, 1971-2018

Dolores O’Riordan, the lead singer of The Cranberries, has died at the age of 46. It’s only Tuesday, and this is already a terrible horrible no good very bad week.

The band confirmed O’Riordan’s death in a brief statement, “Irish and international singer Dolores O’Riordan has died suddenly in London today. She was 46 years old. The lead singer with the Irish band The Cranberries was in London for a short recording session.”

The statement continued, “No further details are available at this time. Family members are devastated to hear the breaking news and have requested privacy at this very difficult time.”

Dolores had one of the most beautiful voices in all of music. She and Shirley Manson of Garbage are hands down my all-time favorite female vocalists. The loss of Dolores is devastating; she truly was one of the greats.

No cause of death was revealed. The Irish Times notes that the Cranberries were forced to cancel tour dates in 2017 due to O’Riordan’s ill health; the band cited “medical reasons associated with a back problem.” O’Riordan had previously been diagnosed as bi-polar.

I sincerely hope her psychological issues were not a factor in her death. Mental health is not something to take lightly; believe me, I know that personally.If you are having trouble, talk to someone; seek the help you need.

My favorite song of hers is listed below the fold…

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Stormy Weather

Well, it didn’t take too long for the fake news media to find another story to be outraged about. In this case, several outlets are claiming the president’s lawyer paid hush money to a pr0n star after she “visited Trump’s tower.”

A lawyer for President Trump reportedly arranged a six-figure payment to a former adult-film star to keep her from discussing a sexual encounter with Trump, according to a new report Friday.

The Wall Street Journal reported that Michael Cohen, an attorney for the Trump Organization at the time and now Trump’s personal lawyer, arranged for Stephanie Clifford, known in the industry as Stormy Daniels, to receive $130,000 as part of a nondisclosure agreement one month before the 2016 presidential election.

So $130,000 was enough to buy the silence of a wealthy pr0n star? We’re supposed to believe that?

Clifford has privately told sources interviewed by the Journal that she and Trump had a consensual sexual encounter in 2006, the year after he and Melania Trump were married. Clifford was 27 years old at the time of the alleged encounter in Lake Tahoe.

Like the “shithole” story, The Hill’s fake news story does not quote one witness. Instead, the alleged journalists cites “sources.” Well, I’m convinced; let’s start the impeachment hearings.

Honestly, I hope this story – like the shithole story – is true. I want to be proud of my president, and a POTUS who bangs Stormy Daniels is someone who should be put onto Mount Rushmore.

Adult Actress Found Dead In Home

Porn star Olivia Nova has been found dead in her Las Vegas residence. Her boyfriend killed himself last April, and Olivia reportedly tweeted she spent Christmas alone this year. Terribly, terribly sad.

Porn star Olivia Nova has died aged 20, her agent confirmed.

LA Direct Models said they were “beyond shocked by the sudden death.” They said: “While only represented by Direct Models for a short period of time, we came to know Olivia as a beautiful girl with a very sweet and gentle personality.

The cause of death is not yet known.

I’m no detective, but I am going to guess it was a drug overdose. It’s still a shame, considering the girl was only twenty years old.

UPDATE: I was wrong. The coroner has found Olivia

Swiftly Fleeing The Box Office

Taylor Swift’s 2018 concert calendar was released last month, and judging by the ticket prices, her “Reputation” will be taking a hit.

That’s the verdict from ticked-off fans, who are balking at buying seats for the 28-year-old pop star’s tour to promote her new “Reputation” album, citing stratospheric markups and greedy sales gimmicks.

“I paid $150 for my ticket with amazing seats for the 1989 tour. Now for the same seats I have to pay about $500,” Twitter user “swiftieloves” recently griped.

A look at Ticketmaster’s interactive seat charts confirms that Swift’s schedule of 33 dates for the North American “Reputation” tour has yet to produce a single sellout, from its May 8 launch in Phoenix to its Oct. 6 finale in Arlington, Texas. By comparison, all the dates on Swift’s “1989” tour in 2015 “sold out within minutes,” according to concertsandsports.com.

I cannot wait until Swift releases a song about how poorly Ticketmaster treated her during their intimate relationship.

No Nudes Is Good Nudes?

Playboy Magazine, a publication which has taken a nose dive in recent years, is leaving the Hefner family. As such, its new owners want to take the iconic entity in a new direction; which means it will soon be bankrupt.

The death of Playboy founder Hugh Hefner is ushering in a new era for the adult-entertainment enterprise in more ways than one.

His passing in September at the age of 91 has set in motion a process that will move ownership of the iconic brand out of his family’s hands and could soon spell the end of its once pace-setting U.S. print edition after nearly seven decades on newsstands.

…The company says it is doubling down on efforts to make money from brand partnerships and licensing deals built around the Playboy name, ethos and bunny logo, with increasingly less focus on its editorial roots.

So they went from publishing photos of naked women, to not posting them, to marketing the “Playboy brand?” Good luck with that. I assume by 2019, I’ll be able to buy the business for twenty bucks.

Water, Water Everywhere

Ladies, do you like to swim? Are you a fan of men’s leering glances? Can you hold your breath for a really long time? If so, do I have the job for you!

Weeki Wachee Springs State Park will hold auditions Jan. 13 for what it hopes will be several new additions to its world-famous mermaid squad. Currently, the squad has 17 performing mermaids and three princes.

The Weeki Wachee mermaids perform underwater year-round in 72-degree spring water from the head of the Weeki Wachee river. The mermaid show debuted on Oct. 13, 1947, in the theater built of limestone and submerged six feet below the spring’s surface.

The park expects at least 50 women to come for the first, and most physically demanding, part of the audition.

“It’s not easy what they do, and a lot of girls find that out (during the audition),” said John Athanason, public relations manager for the park.

On the first audition day, aspiring mermaids must complete a timed, 300-yard endurance swim, where they swim both with and against the water’s current. If they finish that successfully, candidates must tread water for 10 to 15 minutes.

Can people come to ogle watch the auditions? Asking for a friend.

We Need To Talk

National Review Online’s weenie-in-chief David French penned a story entitled “Can We Be Honest About Men” a short while ago. The article revolved how men were the bane of humanity’s existence; in short, it was peak David French.

The Federalist’s D.C. McAllister penned a blunt reply to the NeverTrumper’s whiny bitch-fest, and it’s brilliant.

Here’s a little secret we have to say out loud: Women love the sexual interplay they experience with men, and they relish men desiring their beauty. Why? Because it is part of their nature.

Women want to be desired by men, to attract them, to be the only woman in the world for that man. Their beauty is an essential part of their allure, especially when men and women first meet. They have little else to go on because they don’t know each other, and beauty serves as a guidepost to greater interest.

Luckily, the in verse is not true, because my looks wouldn’t attract a homeless crazy cat lady.

Speaking of breasts, you can’t pick up a magazine, turn on a website, or watch television without seeing boobs. They’re everywhere. From selfies to profile pics to advertisements—they’re on full display. Why do you think that is? It’s because a man is drawn to a woman’s feminine beauty, and a woman wants to lure him in with her most sexual traits.

Do you think the women taking these photos were chained up and forced to have their boobs plastered all over the Internet or television? Do you think the women you see on the news with their legs glossed and their dresses tight are being coerced into dressing seductively? (H/TAOSHQ)

The answer is no, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Men are animals – I say that with all due respect – and we focus upon the visual. The sooner the beta males of the world realize that, the sooner we can start talking about real issues.

She Competed On The Uneven Bars

Meet Playboy model Lindsey Pelas. Lindsey posted the above photo on her Instagram account, and instead of her followers drooling at the deliciousness, they criticized her funbags.

A near-topless picture posted by Playboy model Lindsey Pelas has sent her fans into a frenzy over why her breasts appear different sizes.

The 26-year-old, who is from Louisiana, shared the image of her 30HH breasts on Instagram three days ago with her 7 million followers, causing many to question if their shape was healthy and normal. A second picture posted yesterday showed Lindsey’s breasts did not look the same and appeared to be different in size.

However health experts say having asymmetrical breasts is common for women and nothing to worry about.

As a red-blooded American male, I neither agree with nor support these idiotic comments posted by alleged men. This woman is crazy stupid hot with a rockin’ body, and they’re criticizing the shape of her breasts? These are the same dopes who would reject Cindy Crawford because of her mole.

Dude, report to the Ministry of Testosterone and insert your Man Card into the shredder.

The Girls From Brazil

Brazilian uber-model Gisele Bündchen is no longer the highest-grossing model on the planet. That’s right, the world’s most perfect woman has been upstaged by… Kendall jenner?

For the first time since 2002, Brazilian Gisele Bündchen is not the world’s highest-paid model. The 37 year-old has been knocked from the top spot on Forbes’ annual list by comparative newcomer Kendall Jenner, 22.

It was only a matter of time before one of the new generation of Instagirl-era models would topple Bündchen, who fell into second place on the Forbes list, banking (just) $17.5 million this year. Bündchen, who formally retired from catwalk appearances last year, posed for adverts for Carolina Herrera fragrances, Arezzo shoes and Vivara jewellery in her homeland Brazil, but, in taking on less, her overall earnings had dropped 43% from the $30.5 million she made in 2016.

Don’t get me wrong; I wouldn’t kick Jenner out of bed for eating crackers, but there is no way she should be paid more than Gisele. Besides, considering her parentage, Kendall may have been born a man. Zing.

Save Me The Rump Roast

Contestants for Brazil’s Miss Bumbum Pageant decided to wear meat bikinis over their beef curtains.

Some contestants in a Brazilian beauty pageant dedicated to finding the nation’s best behind are protesting sexual harassment.

The infamous Miss Bumbum Brazil pageant takes place Monday evening in Sao Paulo. As part of the hype, five of the women whose keisters are competing decided to pose in “beef-kinis” reminiscent of the all-meat dress Gaga wore to the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards.

The women spent eight hours on the shoot and are collectively wearing about 110 pounds of beef. Organizers insist there’s a message behind the meaty swimwear: “Women are not just a piece of meat.”

Sure they are! Now get your ample asses back in the kitchen and make me a sammich; preferably one loaded with bacon.