Like Weight On Rice

Meet Korean actress Lee Tae-Im. Looking at her, you can see she is the reason the United States protects South Korea from evildoers.

Now you may wonder how Lee maintains such a bangin’ body; the answer may surprise you.

Popular Korean actress Lee Tae-Im recently sparked a bit of controversy after revealing that she only eats three spoons of rice a day in order to maintain her slim figure.

Lee, who was previously known for her curves and overall healthy image, appeared on an episode of MBC Every1’s “Video Star” on Tuesday, where panelists quickly noticed her extremely slim physique. The young actress admitted to undergoing an extreme diet for the last six months, during which she only ate three spoons of rice per day.

And honey, it’s really working for ya! Lee embraced the diet after watching the Korean version of Mary Poppins, where Mary claims a spoonful of rice helps the cellulite go down.

Yo Mama Says You Slutty, Hey Hey, Ho Ho!

Coastal Carolina University – home of the Fighting Floozies – has suspended their cheerleading squad for allegedly working as strippers.

A South Carolina cheerleading team has been suspended during an investigation into allegations its members worked as strippers and escorts.

An investigatory report obtained under an open records request includes text messages in which current and former members of the Coastal Carolina University cheer team discuss jobs as strippers.

The investigator also wrote that the cheerleaders were paid up to $1,500 for escorting men to events and were also paid in gifts including clothes and designer handbags.

Wow, that’s hawt. The article claims the cheerleaders did not have sex with their clients, but I’m skeptical. By definition, cheering people up is their mission. Why take someone around the world when you’re going to avoid Intercourse, PA?

Clutching Pearl

Meet Pearl Gonzalez.

Pearl is a crazy stupid hot woman who makes her money doing crazy stupid things inside the UFC octagon. Her fighting career was almost cut short, however, because the state of New York was going to sideline her.

Why? Because of her fantastic cans.

UFC fighter Pearl Gonzalez WILL fight at UFC 210 after the NY State Athletic Commission cleared her to participate despite having breast implants.

The NYSAC said it conducted a review into Gonzalez based on information that came to light at the weigh in Friday morning. MMAFighting.com said the information was that Gonzalez has breast implants. But moments ago, the NYSAC issued a statement saying, “The Commission has completed its review and has cleared Ms. Gonzalez to participate in UFC 210.”

She made her UFC debut against Cynthia Calvillo on Saturday night as planned.

What happens when breast implants puncture? Does it make a popping balloon sound or a slow-leaking tire sound?

A Better Way Of Grinding

A western coffee shop company is under fire for their scantily clad waitresses. Apparently, the cleavage has their customers standing up and begging for buttermilk.

Bikini Beans Espresso is a coffee shop chain with branches in Arizona and Washington where patrons can have their favorite coffee prepared and served by beautiful women wearing bikinis, g-strings or just three strategically-placed stickers.

Thanks to its attractive dress code, Bikini Beans Espresso has become hugely popular, especially among its male clientele. But despite encouraging sales, impressive 5-star ratings on Yelp and thousands of followers on social media, Bikini Beans Espresso has its fare share of critics, most of which claim that the mandatory dress code of the staff is degrading for women.

Carlie Jo, the owner of the Bikini Beans Espresso venue in Washington, also agrees that the barely-there attire is empowering women, not objectifying them. “Women everywhere have the right to vote, to be gay, to be successful community leaders and business owners, or even run for president! We have the right to work with grace, confidence and dignity, regardless if it’s in a business suit, scrubs, or a bikini,” she said.

I’ve gotta be honest here; this entire story is a big nothingburger, since bars and restaurants have been employing scantily-clad women for decades. This may have been a big deal in 1985, but it’s 2017. Basic cable networks have shows which drop F-bombs, show partial nudity, and broadcast more cans than a beer distributor. Get over yourselves, people.

Let Us Kneel Before The Lord

Meet Crystal Bassette. Crystal was previously known by the name Nadia Hilton, an adult film star who spent her time going down more often than a fiddler’s elbow. Not anymore.

Crystal Bassette, from Clay, New York, earned $300,000 a year as porn actress Nadia Hilton, starring in over 100 X-rated titles over 10 years.

In the throws of an alcohol problem, Crystal frittered away her money on sports cars, a mansion and her own nightclub. Several life-changing events – including a terrifying car accident in May 2014 – made Crystal realise she wanted to start on a new path.

The mother-of-three put an end to her hedonistic lifestyle after she found God and started attending church, where she met her husband David, 26, a pastor. The 33-year-old has since graduated from college and trained to become a pastor.

This may surprise you, but I think this story is fantastic. Crystal learned from her mistakes, saw where her life was headed, and made necessary changes. It’s actually heartening to know she is spreading the good word, gushing over her flock, and banging the drum for the Lord.

Mistakes Were Made…

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In March of 2016, Playboy announced it would discontinue nudity in its magazines. The boneheaded move lasted only twelve months. Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

Playboy has announced it will bring back nudity, a year after it stopped printing pictures of naked women.

The magazine, which broke taboos in the 1950s with its provocative centrefolds, dropped nudity in March 2016 in an effort to broaden its appeal online and in print. However, its publisher has now reversed the decision and teased its March/April edition with the hashtag #NakedIsNormal.

Cooper Hefner, the magazine’s chief creative officer and son of founder Hugh Hefner, said removing nudity from Playboy was “entirely a mistake”.

No, Hugh Hefner walking around in pajamas all day is a mistake. Removing nudity from Playboy magazine was a war crime, and reparations better include pokey nipples and other assorted pink parts.

Kentucky Fried Bitchin’

christen-mcallisterMeet Christen McAllister.

Christen was a finalist in the Miss Kentucky pageant, a current member of the Sigma Kappa Sorority, and a budding artist. Oh wait, I meant a budding arsonist.

Christen McAllister was arrested after police were called to the 300 block of Armstrong street at The Retreat, an off-campus housing community for the University of Louisville’s Belknap Campus. McAllister, 22, was a Top 5 finalist in the Miss Kentucky USA pageant last month.

Authorities say McAllister admitted to setting the mattress on fire while two roommates were inside the home after she and her roommate got in an argument.

What are the chances the roommate quipped, “I’m hotter than you,” and Christen decided to make it so?

In Soviet Russia, Girl Ogles You!

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A young Russian female bodybuilder whose photos wowed Instagram has been nicknamed “Muscle Barbie” by her male fans.

Julia Vins, 20, from Russia has been powerlifting for the past five years and her Instagram selfies have won praise from both men and women who admire her muscles as well as her curves.

The fitness fanatic always keeps her hair and make-up looking perfect – but she spends even more time on her muscles and can deadlift an amazing 419 pounds.

Unlike most girls, Julia decided that cardio exercises were not for her and she opted to start powerlifting instead.

I have something she can lift. It’s really heavy, but she can probably get it up to her pelvic area. Heh.

Normally I’m not a fan of muscular women, but this chick makes me feel kinda funny.

Russian To Judgment

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Arabs in Dubai are throwing a hissy fit after Russian models staged a photo shoot outside one of their ridiculously expensive hotels. Interesting how Muslims demand rights in foreign countries, but refuse to reciprocate at home.

A group of Russian women have hit back at a Dubai hotel’s complaints about their sexy photographs by staging a racy mannequin challenge on its forecourt.

The Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeirah, on the famous man-made palm islands off the UAE resort city of Dubai, was annoyed at being geo-tagged in social media posts after a group of women stayed there. Hotel management complained that some of the pictures and videos they shared with their millions of followers looked like something from a lingerie catalog or an adult movie.

A hotel spokesman was quoted as saying: ‘You have to understand that this is an Arab country.

Oh, we understand… and we don’t give a f**k.

Barton Shrink

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Actress Mischa Barton gave her neighbors a terrific Ashley Judd impersonation Thursday; one convincing enough that she was rewarded a trip to the nut house.

The OC actress was voluntarily taken to the hospital for a mental health evaluation after the incident Thursday morning.

Neighbors found the 31-year-old on top of her backyard fence in West Hollywood screaming that her mother was a witch. She was also rambling about the ‘world shattering’, and Ziggy Stardust – which is one of her dog’s names.

Barton was wearing just a dress shirt and tie at the time.

That’s hot. What??? Every woman is crazy, so most guys would rather bang a hot psychopath than one who is not so hot.