Grandma Is Makin’ It Rain

A Florida woman attempted to get some money from an ATM when she found something much better.

Julia Yonkowski went to her local Chase Bank in Largo on Saturday to withdraw some money, but she wanted to check her balance first.

According to the bank receipt she received, Yonkowski had $999,985,855.94 in her account. As you can imagine, being shocked was an understatement.

“Oh my God, I was horrified. I know most people would think they won the lottery but I was horrified,” she said. She originally went to the ATM just to grab $20.

Yonkowski immediately announced she was buying the New York Knicks, then realized the Knicks suck and purchased the Miami Heat.

Everybody Is iPhone Fighting

A Japanese man has spent the better part of the last few months creating a quick-draw system for his iPhone. Why? Don’t know. What I do know is this guy needs to find a real job.

Look, I know the title of this post kind of makes sense and when you read it you’re thinking, “This is probably a Japanese guy who made a way to pull his iPhone out really quickly.” And that’s a fair assumption. But what this video actually is is pure internet majesty. This is the internet we were promised.

Trust me when I tell you; you are going to want to see the video below. My word as a Biden.

Continue reading “Everybody Is iPhone Fighting”

Fatality!

So a martial artist made a YouTube video of him performing trick shots with a rope dart. No, I’ve never heard of a rope dart before, but it sure resembles Scorpion’s spear from the Mortal Kombat video games.

This is a video of a guy performing trick shots with a dart attached to a rope like Scorpion from Mortal Kombat. And if you’re wondering, the official name for this weapon is, um, the rope dart. After watching the video I thought about attempting to do some trick shots of my own but decided I didn’t feel like getting accidentally stabbed by a rope dart today.

I am so getting one of these for Kevin and Julia. You can see the video below the fold…

Continue reading Fatality!

Ohio AG Files Suit Against Google

Dave Yost, the Attorney General of Ohio, has filed a lawsuit against Google for their monopolistic practices, and is arguing the company should be regulated by the government.

The lawsuit, filed in a state court, alleged that the tech giant uses its market power as the top search engine to give preferential treatment to its own products, services, and apps on search results pages, thereby disadvantaging competitors.

Yost is absolutely correct. Google is garbage and they automatically sends news searches to leftist sites.

“Google uses its dominance of internet search to steer Ohioans to Google’s own products — that’s discriminatory and anti-competitive,” Yost, a Republican, said in a statement. “When you own the railroad or the electric company or the cellphone tower, you have to treat everyone the same and give everybody access.”

The lawsuit said almost 67% of Google searches started and ended on Google-owned platforms, with users typically starting on Google’s search page and then being led to another of its services, such as YouTube, Google Maps, Google News, or Google Shopping.

The lawsuit does not seek monetary damages but rather greater government control over how Google runs its business.

I’m all for smiting Big Tech, especially after the last few years. These corporations are out of control, and if Ohio can start the ball rolling against Google, maybe Twitter and Facebook won’t be far behind.

Atlanta Is Suing Major League Baseball

A group of small business owners have decided to sue Major League baseball for their decision to remove the All-Star Game from Atlanta because of their secure voting laws.

A conservative group representing small businesses that says MLB’s decision to move its All-Star game out of Atlanta is proof Commissioner Rob Manfred has “no balls” is now ready to throw another brush-back pitch.

FOX Business has learned that the right-leaning trade group founded by Home Depot co-founder Bernie Marcus — plans to file a lawsuit in Manhattan federal court Tuesday alleging that MLB’s decision has injured Atlanta’s small business community. Also to be named in the lawsuit, according to a person with direct knowledge of the matter is the Major League Baseball Players Association – the union which represents some 1,200 players – and which the Job Creators Network contends played a role in the decision to move the game out of Atlanta to Denver.

Now I’m not naïve enough to think this group will win – since there are two tiers of justice in America – but if it’s enough to give Major League Baseball a lot of negative press, I’m all for it.

Hey, Thanks For Axing

Meet Master S. Kamaraj of India. The martial arts icon has found a way to throw an axe like a boomerang… because who doesn’t want a flying axe to circle back to your skull?

Master S. Kamaraj of the Indian martial arts and gymnastics school Vajram Silambam demonstrated how to throw a single-headed axe so that it returns to the same spot like a boomerang. This particular feat takes a great deal of discipline and practice to get the desired results without losing one’s head.

This would probably be more impressive if Master Kamaraj spoke with an Australian accent and was drinking a can of Foster’s beer. You can see this lunatic throwing the axe below the fold…

Continue reading “Hey, Thanks For Axing”

The Thrill Is Gone

It only took Americans fourteen months, but people are finally realizing “Doctor” Anthony Fauci is a political hack who merely regurgitates whatever talking point is popular at the moment.

Confidence in Dr. Anthony Fauci has decreased 42.2 percent among Americans in the past year, according to a Trafalgar Group survey.

Respondents were asked, “Has your confidence in Dr. Fauci gone up or down in the past year?” While 42.2 percent said confidence has gone down, 22.1 percent said it has increased, and 26.1 percent said it is unchanged.

When only Republicans were asked the same question, 50.8 percent said their confidence in Fauci decreased, whereas respondents with no party affiliation decreased 41.7 percent. Twenty percent of Democrats’ confidence in Fauci decreased.

About four or five months in, I was truly hoping President Trump would fire this clown. Sadly, that never happened, and now the illegitimate president is fluffing Fauci at every single turn. I’m actually surprised any Democrat lost confidence in their golden calf.

The Damned CDC Just Saved Disney

The despicable Walt Disney Corporation is getting a helping hand from Fauci and his jackbooted thugs, just as the company was about to die. The CDC’s decision to allow us peons to stop wearing masks has saved the financially struggling organization. Hooray.

During an earnings call on Thursday, Disney CEO Bob Chapek hinted that there could be a change to the mandatory mask requirement at Disney parks in the near future after the CDC said people could stop wearing masks outdoors in crowds and in most indoor settings.

“Particularly, if anybody’s been in Florida in the middle of summer with a mask on. That could be quite daunting,” Chapek said. “So we think that’s going to make for an even more pleasant experience.”

Chapek said the parks had already started raising the number of people allowed in, as least in Florida, based on relaxed restrictions coming from Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis’ office. He didn’t say how many more people were being allowed in the parks compared to the previous restriction of a little more than a third of a park’s capacity.

It pains me to think how far Disney has fallen. We spent our honeymoon there, and revisited when the missus was pregnant with Kyle. The kids have been there when they were younger and they all had a great time. In the last few years, however, the entire corporation has become mega-woke, which is why I have no desire to give them my money ever again.

Is That The Chattanooga Wreckage?

A professor at the university of Tennessee (Chattanooga) believes he found the wreckage of the USS Chattanooga at the bottom of the Tennessee River. I realize stories like these aren’t interesting to a lot of people, but I find it fascinating.

Morgan Smith, assistant professor in the UTC Department of Anthropology at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, and his students are 90 percent sure they found the wreckage of the U.S.S. Chattanooga, a steamship that brought supplies to the starving army of U.S. Gen. Ulysses S. Grant outside Chattanooga in 1863. According to historical records, supplies had dwindled until there was only one loaf of bread left for Union soldiers.

After the war, the ship sat on the northern side of the Tennessee River across from what is now the Tennessee Aquarium and Riverfront. Eventually, it fell apart and sank.

On April 14, Smith and students in his “Underwater Anthropology” course are pretty sure they found pieces of it sitting on the muddy river bottom.

The sonar photos definitely found something, and Smith believes it’s the Chattanooga.

While the kids are leaning toward Alabama, I still really love Tennessee for its history and beauty. It’s still on my retirement list, and stories like these get my blood pumping.

Coffee, Tea, Or Lil’ Help?

A flight attendant created a TikTok video – for the record, TikTok is owned by the ChiComs – explaining why she and her fellow coworkers greet passengers at the door.

Apparently, it’s not because they’re super friendly. (Although I’m sure many are.)

Those flight attendants who greet you while you board a plane aren’t just being friendly. Flight attendant Kat Kamalani recently posted a TikTik video explaining what crew members are actually doing while they welcome passengers onboard a plane.

“Have you ever walked on a plane and saw the flight attendants standing right here greeting you?” Kamalani, who is from Salt Lake City, says at the beginning of the clip. “Or the flight attendants walking up and down the aisle. Well, I’m about to tell you what we’re really doing.”

According to Kamalani, those are the moments that flight attendants are sizing up the passengers and looking for people who can help in cases of emergency.

As a law enforcement professional who is in decent shape, I’d be happy to help… for a few extra bags of peanuts and a rum and coke. Preferably on the house.