WILSON!

This handsome devil is Christopher Wilson of Clifton Heights, Ohio. Like most red-blooded American males, he appreciates the company of a good woman. When that good woman turns him down, Wilson allegedly gets all Harvey Weinsteiny.

A Clifton Heights man was arraigned Monday for an alleged assault back in May. Christopher Wilson is charged with assault and sexual imposition.

Wilson punched and kicked a woman and tried to get her down on the ground on Wheeler Street on May 29. He’s then accused of groping the woman.

The woman was able to identify Wilson in a lineup. He has a 2-line forehead tattoo that reads in part, “I’m a pornstar”. (H/T – AOSHQ)

He’s a pornstar? Damn, I realize the golden age of pr0n is long gone, but this assclown couldn’t get laid in a monkey whorehouse with a handful of bananas.

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American Traitor Pleads Guilty

Bowe Bergdahl, the despicable, traitorous coward who deserted his post, pleaded guilty yesterday to charges of desertion and misbehavior before the enemy.

Bergdahl, 31, is accused of endangering his comrades by abandoning his post without authorization. He told a general after his release from five years in enemy hands that he did it with the intention of reaching other commanders and drawing attention to what he saw as problems with his unit.

This indicates that they did not reach a deal to limit his punishment, and that he may be hoping for leniency from the judge, Army Col. Jeffery R. Nance. The misbehavior charge carries a maximum penalty of life in prison, while the desertion charge is punishable by up to five years. (H/T – AOSHQ)

This piece of garbage, who claimed he was disillusioned with the war effort and ashamed to be an American, was lauded by the Obama administration after his release. Susan Rice claimed this pig “served with honor and distinction.” Barack Obama welcomed Bergdahl’s parents to the White House (above).

The search for Bergdahl reportedly cost the lives of six American servicemen, and the deal made to release this traitor resulted in the freeing of five Taliban terrorists. I sincerely hope the guilty plea was not part of some larger deal. Bowe Bergdahl should be placed before a firing squad, and it should be broadcast on national television.

Harvey Whore-Man

Infamous Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein has been accused of sexual harassment by dozens of alleged victims. In response, many Democrat fanboys and girls have distanced themselves from the pervert, with the exception of two notable politicians.

Many Democratic office holders were quick to repudiate disgraced Hollywood executive Harvey Weinstein following a bombshell report detailing decades of alleged sexual harassment.

But former Democratic Presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton, as well as former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton — all of whom have longstanding ties to Weinstein, a major Democratic Party fundraiser — have not publicly addressed the accusations.

Representatives for the Clintons have not responded to comment for this story, and Obama’s office declined to comment.

Well, in fairness, the Obamas and Clintons already received their millions from Weinstein, so it would be rude to disavow him publicly.

Imagine CNN’s uproar if Weinstein was a huge Republican donor and President Trump refused to disavow him. It would be the top story on every media outlet on Earth. Weinstein is a huge Democrat donor, and it took days for most media outlets to even acknowledge the story, let alone report on it.

That Didn’t Pan Out So Well

While many men joke that a woman’s place is in the kitchen, it is the last place you want to find a woman scorned. Sadly, a New Jersey man learned this lesson the hard way.

A Camden woman is facing murder charges in the beating of her boyfriend last month.

It was Labor Day weekend when police in Woodlynne, Camden County were called to a convenience market on Mount Ephraim Avenue.

Jason Lewis, 35, was conscious, but bleeding from the head after he said he had been beaten by his girlfriend with a pair of frying pans, according to the Camden County Prosecutor. The woman, 31-year-old Maleia Cole, fled to her home about a block away. (H/T – Proof)

While I sincerely hope Cole receives the most severe sentence possible, I would also suggest this cold-hearted bitch is never assigned kitchen duty.

Bailey’s Irish Cream

Meet Bailey Puttkemery and Emily Scott.

Bailey and Emily (I’m assuming Emily is the female) are madly in lust, and neither take too kindly to The Man interrupting their hot, sweaty makeout sessions.

As detailed in a La Crosse Police Department report, Officer Westpfahl heard moaning emanating from a gold Pontiac Grand Am. The vehicle’s windows were “partially fogged” and it was “rocking back and forth.” The cop illuminated the car’s interior with his flashlight and “confirmed they were naked and engaging in sexual intercourse.”

Westpfahl then told the couple–later identified as Bailey Puttkemery, 21, and Emily Scott, 20–to cease copulating and get dressed. “At that point, I walked to the rear of the vehicle in order to give the two subjects some privacy while getting dressed.”

Puttkemery, apparently not happy to have been interrupted, replied, “No. I’m trying to fuck.”

Far be it for me to tell Officer Westpfahl how to to his job, but Puttkemery’s reply would have resulted in a nutsack tasering.

The cop then opened the car’s rear door and “again instructed the subjects to stop doing what they were doing and get dressed.” Puttkemery, who smelled of booze, then allegedly tried to shut the car door, telling the officer to go away.

Puttkemery finally stepped out of the Pontiac, naked, he became argumentative and accused Westpfahl of “cock blocking” him and “giving him blue balls.”

Luckily for Puttkemery, his balls were soon drained while spooning his large, African-American cellmate.

The Long Cut

Meet Irshad.

Irshad is a handsome eligible bachelor who, like Johnny Appleseed, enjoys spreading his goop around. Unlike Johnny Appleseed, poor Irshad had his tree chopped down by an irate mistress.

A woman chopped off her lover’s penis after allegedly finding out he was marrying another woman.

The man, named only as 26-year-old Irshad, met up with his lover, 30, for ‘one last time’ before he was due to get married to a woman of his parents’ choice.

But after finding out about the marriage, the furious woman reportedly cut off his genitals with a knife while at a guest house in Kattipuram, India Tuesday.

Dude, if you’re going to try to boink your side piece one last time, don’t tell her about your impending marriage until after the sploosh. Dumbass.

RELATED: Speaking of weiners, Anthony Weiner was sentenced to 21 months in prison yesterday.

Tainted Love

Officials in Monroe County, Pennsylvania are dealing with a sex scandal between the police department and the medical examiner’s office. Apparently, it was a case of interdepartmental cooperation.

Allegations about the Monroe County coroner’s office were laid out in recent court filings: Sex between a deputy coroner and a police officer at a death scene; an extramarital affair in the woods, carried out during working hours; and showing co-workers cellphone photos of a lover’s male genitalia.

The federal case filed Aug. 24 by former deputy coroner Lauren Fizz against the county, Allen, and his wife and top aide Kathleen “Traci” Allen said Traci Allen has essentially taken over the office, including decisions about hiring and firing. Traci Allen did not respond to a message seeking comment.

Fizz’s lawsuit said Traci Allen and an unnamed co-worker, described as “her deputy coroner paramour,” concocted a false story that Fizz “had had a sexual encounter with a police officer at a death scene in April 2016.”

That’s hot. In fairness, nothing makes a guy stiff like banging someone near a stiff.

A Wretched Hive Of Scum And Villainy

Meet Amika Witt, the pride of Bloomington, IL.

Amika is a young, hard-working, urban professional trying to make ends meet. She does so by peddling pharmaceuticals to the local populace, with occasional bouts of gun smuggling.

Amika Witt, 20, and a male acquaintance were arrested early Thursday after their car was stopped for speeding on Interstate 55 just north of Bloomington. A police search of the vehicle and its occupants turned up heroin and Ecstasy.

Witt was subsequently transported to the McLean County jail, where the intake process included a strip search. During the search of Witt, a female jailer recovered a loaded Kimber .380 caliber handgun from the suspect’s vagina. The gun had a fully loaded clip and a bullet in the chamber.

See? She’s just like Han Solo… with a more repugnant-smelling “cargo hold.”

The handgun weighs 13.4 ounces with an empty magazine and is 5.6” long.

Luckily, Amika’s Sarlacc pit was no match for the long arm of the law.

What’s Biting Gilbert’s Grape?

Meet Ethan Gilbert. Ethan is a student at Penn State University, an institution quickly becoming the Flori-Duh of colleges.

Ethan had a run in with the law last weekend, where he gave the officers an example of his biting wit.

PSU student Ethan Gilbert, 20, was accused of using someone else’s license to get into the popular bar just before midnight, and police officers were called to the scene.

The arriving cops pressed Gilbert, of Lansdowne, Pa., for his real identification and information — but he took off on foot, instead.

The foot chase ended with the police officer catching up to Gilbert, but the student still wasn’t done. He allegedly bit the officer trying to arrest him on the finger, along with allegedly pushing the cop.

Judging by his mug shot, Ethan appears to be either a gender studies scholar or a pharmacology major.

Hot Dog, We Have A Weiner!

The girl who was involved in the latest Anthony Wiener sexting scandal has come forward to claim her money and fifteen minutes of fame. The teenager spoke with Inside Edition, reminding everyone what kind of people surround Hillary Clinton.

Now 16, she spoke to Inside Edition this week as Weiner awaits sentencing for transferring obscene material to a minor, a crime he admitted in May. The charge carries a maximum sentence of 10 years but Weiner will not spend more than 27 months in jail as part of his plea deal.

In her interview this week, the teenager said she was ‘disgusted’ by the messages she received from Weiner who, at the time, was still living with wife Huma Abedin, one of Hillary Clinton’s closest aides.

She said last year that their relationship with consensual and begged her father not to press charges against him but took part in her sit-down interview with DailyMail.com in the hope that it would stop him from sexting underage girls.

Anthony Weiner is a despicable piece of filth who deserves to spend the entire twenty-seven months in prison. That said, he should also be sentenced to another five years for sexting such a unattractive, bloated heifer.

*I renounce myself.