Never Go Full Ripley

When Vermont State Troopers arrived in the town of Hardwick to arrest a burglary suspect, the suspect’s father had an unconventional idea to stop the officers in their tracks.

Vermont State Police say a man behind the wheel of a construction-grade excavator tried to attack two troopers after the officers attempted to arrest his son last week.

Shortly after the troopers arrived at the home in Hardwick to arrest a suspect in an assault and burglary case, “the suspect’s parents attempted to hinder the arrest, and ultimately the suspect’s father menaced and attempted to assault the troopers using an excavator,” their post on Facebook read.

You can see the video at the link. It’s hilarious.

Dashcam footage shows the suspect’s father swinging the bucket of the excavator at the troopers. One of the officers drew his weapon but did not fire.

Personally I think it would have been funnier if he drove toward the police with a steamroller.

A Real Le’Genius

Meet Le’Genius Williams of St. Petersburg, Flori-Duh. Le’Genius was arrested last week after he pistol-whipped his girlfriend before fleeing the scene with cocaine and fentanyl.

Police allege that Williams struck his girlfriend in the face with a handgun and then fled the St. Petersburg crime scene in a Chevy driven by another man.

Cops performed a pit maneuver to stop the vehicle and then arrested Williams and the driver. A search of the car uncovered a pair of loaded firearms, as well as cocaine and fentanyl.

Seen above, Williams was booked into the county jail for aggravated domestic battery, drug trafficking, narcotics possession, and weapons offenses. He is being held in lieu of $77,000 bond.

When this genius was thirteen-years old, he shot a fifteen-year old and spent eight years in prison for attempted murder and robbery. Maybe his parents should rename this dullard.

Never Bring A Rake To A Chainsaw Fight

Meet Gerald Arbaugh of St. Albans, West Virginia. Gerald has a short temper, which exemplified itself when he drove to his neighbor’s residence, struck the man with his vehicle and proceeded to cut the man’s tires… with a chainsaw.

A criminal complaint says that a Kanawha Sheriff’s deputy responded to the 1000 block of Ferrell Rd. on Tuesday. The complaint says that a victim told the deputy that Gerald Arbaugh had come to the residence and slashed the victim’s truck tire with a chainsaw.

An altercation ensued, and Arbaugh allegedly got ahold of a rake and hit the victim. The complaint says that Arbaugh later drove a sedan up the victim’s driveway and into a small, non-functional hot tub and then into the victim.

I have no idea why, but the phrase “non-fuctional hot tub” made immediately think, “Yep, West Virginia.”

P.S. – Erik and I traveled to Philippi, West Virginia for a lacrosse recruitment meeting, and if I an going to be brutally honest, West Virginia was gorgeous and the people there were exceedingly polite.

Thanks to The Pirate’s Cove for the link!

The Spitting Image

Meet Laurie Lynn Hinds of Tyler, Texas. Laurie attended a funeral last year to pay her respects, comfort the family, and spit upon the corpse. Laurie is kind of a scumbag.

A Texas woman was charged with a felony after spitting on a corpse at a funeral home during a viewing.

I guarantee someone spits on my corpse after I kick. They would be right to do so.

According to an arrest affidavit, Laurie Lynn Hinds, 51, walked into a funeral home in Tyler, Texas, on Nov. 29, walked straight up to the casket, and spit on the corpse.

A witness on the scene said Hinds had animosity toward the family of the person in the casket.

Really, ya think? Almost everyone knows somebody who is a terrible person – like me – but why would you waste your time going to the funeral home and spitting on a corpse? It would be easier to smile at the person’s demise instead of humiliating the family and getting yourself arrested.

She’s No Angel

A disgruntled ex-employee of a Cincinnati Little Caesars pizza shop walked into the store, asked the manager to re-hire her, and when the manager refused, she shot him.

Angel Kidd, 27, is facing a felonious assault charge after she critically wounded her manager last Tuesday.

Police say Kidd “returned to the business after being fired and requested her job back.” Kidd started to fight with the store manager in the parking lot, before she pulled out a firearm and shot her former manager in his left leg. She subsequently fled the scene.

Shootsa Shootsa!

“After being told she would not be re-hired she began fighting the store manager in the parking lot,” police said. “During the struggle (Kidd) pulled a gun and shot the store manager in the left leg. (She) fled the scene in a blue SUV.”

Well that’s a sure way to lose all your Little Caesars reward points. I hope she likes Pizza Hut.

Murderer Embraced the Dark Side

A Georgia man is being tried for murder after he stabbed his mother and stepfather to death in their residence.

The murder wasn’t even the most bizarre detail of this heinous crime.

In what was described as a bizarre and brutal knife attack that left a Perry, Georgia husband and wife dead in their apartment two years ago, prosecutors this week revealed that the husband’s body was found covered in a blanket with a Darth Vader statuette and coffee mug perched on his back beside a lone cowboy boot.

It would appear this piece of garbage has always been a despicable semi-human.

Anthony Douglas Shoffner Jr., 27, is accused of murder in the slayings of his mother, Rebecca Lynn Griffin, 46, and his stepfather, Kenneth Griffin, 42, on the night of March 10, 2020. Their bodies were discovered the next day in the living room of their home at the Houston Lake Apartments on the east side of Perry.

Shoffner, a former correctional officer at a state prison in Macon County, had previously been implicated in a federally prosecuted methamphetamine ring involving inmates.

Wow, I am shocked this POS was selling drugs to inmates. Shocked, I say!

Thug Throws Woman Onto Subway Tracks

The NYPD is searching for a Bronx thug who grabbed a 52-year old woman and threw her onto the subway tracks. After tossing the woman, the thug leisurely walked away as if nothing occurred.

Newly released video captured the horrifying moment a man violently tossed a 52-year-old woman onto the subway tracks in the Bronx on Sunday.

The footage, provided Monday by the NYPD, shows the still-at-large suspect’s random attack on the victim at the Jackson Avenue station at about 4:45 p.m. The man, wearing a backwards baseball cap and white tank top, approached the woman from behind, grabbed her with both hands and threw her towards the tracks, the video shows.

The woman hit the platform pavement before tumbling onto the roadbed.

Now I am the last person who should be speaking about morality and religion, but I am really starting to think this is our Gomorrah moment. People turned away from God. They turned away from decency and morality, and embraced evil and violence. I think the Lord is looking down upon us and He doesn’t like what he sees.

And again, I am probably the absolute last person to pontificate about this, but I believe His punishments will be vengeful.

The Banana Splits

Meet Jerry P. Terrell of Fayette County, Georgia. Jerry likes to keep his neighborhood clean, so when he saw a kid throw a banana skin near his residence, he peeled after him.

A Fayette County man has been charged with aggravated assault and aggressive driving after striking a 15-year-old on a bicycle with his ATV after the boy threw a banana peel near the roadway near his property.

Dude, it’s a banana peel. Pick it up and toss it into the trash can.

Sheriff Barry Babb said a 15-year-old male cyclist on May 31 was riding along Harp Road and threw a banana peel near the edge of the roadway. Terrell confronted the cyclist, who continued on his way. Babb said Terrell got on an ATV and followed the cyclist, then struck the bicycle in the area of Harp Road and Redwine Road, causing the bicycle to wreck.

Imagine getting that angry about a banana peel that you try to murder a child on a bicycle.

Who Knew Alabama Woman Was A Thing?

Meet Rhonda D. Young of Calhoun County, Alabama. This beautiful young woman was arrested after a domestic dispute involving an argument, a mobile home, and a very large truck.

A woman crashed a truck into a mobile home after arguing with her boyfriend on Memorial Day, according to authorities in the Yellowhammer State.

No better way to celebrate Memorial Day by trying to kill someone.

Officers with the Piedmont Police Department said they were dispatched early Monday morning to the 600 block of Piedmont Cutoff Road. The incident involved a woman driving an “International Commercial Truck” into a mobile home, cops said. Local reports described the vehicle as a tractor-trailer.

Authorities said that a “domestic argument” preceded the crash. One person was injured and two others were put in danger, officers added.

Rhonda hit the trifecta, with a charge of attempted murder and two charges of attempted assault.

Oklahoma Is Not OK

So imagine you’re out of work and looking for a decent paying job. You apply to Amazon and they hire you as a truck delivery driver. You’re so excited to be employed, and you happily go about your work until…

A delivery driver had a terrifying encounter in Oklahoma City on Monday. When police arrived at the scene, they found an Amazon delivery truck that had crashed into a mailbox and a parked vehicle.

The driver told investigators that he was turning round when he drove past a man and heard something hit the floor of the truck.

Sadly, the something was not a bottle of beer or a bank bag filled with a million dollars.

The victim said he looked back to see what had dropped and saw a grenade rolling around the floorboard.

Pretty sure I would rather have rattlesnakes thrown into my truck instead. At least there is some good news; the man was not killed, but he’s a very stupid man.

When the van crashed into the mailbox and parked car, the victim said he went back to the van and tossed the grenade out of the van.

So this live grenade didn’t go off in the Amazon truck, so this guy figured if he threw it onto the residential street, everything would be Jake. No kids are ever running through the streets, amirite?